


Bitty Bones Tales

by GiggleGoon



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dusttale, Alternate Universe - Horrortale, Alternate Universe - Underfell, Bitty Bones, I do not take requests so stop asking, Main Character is an OC, No Romance, Not A Reader-Insert, Underfell Papyrus, Underfell Sans, Underswap Sans, don't like it too bad, no lemons ever, undertomb
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2018-08-09 12:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 18
Words: 36,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7801075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GiggleGoon/pseuds/GiggleGoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Various stories based on Fucken_Crybaby's Bitty Bones AU. Will contain fluff and the kind of stuff one would normally expect from this AU. Will also get dark, very dark. Go to the official Bitty Bones tumblr page for more information: http://bittybones-au.tumblr.com/ Will also contain OCs. Deal with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. My New Boss (Underfell Papyrus Bitty)

**Author's Note:**

> Boss has been at the adoption center longer than any other Bitty. He's also been returned more times than anyone cares to count. He has long since given up on the idea of being adopted but one oddly laid back individual decides to give him one more chance.

I saw them nearly everywhere: Bitty Bones, the tiny monsters that people adopted as little companions. I never really paid them much attention until I saw one of my co-workers, Toby and his wife in the grocery store one day. Perched on Toby's shoulder was a little man made totally of flames. He seemed to be wearing glasses, a black suit, and a... bartender's apron? Toby introduced me to his little friend. I don't know what it was about the tiny, soft spoken, flame monster but something about him flipped a switch inside of me. Later that night I did a little research on them. I found the official website for Bitty Bones and browsed through the many different kinds. Most of them seemed to be small (smol) skeleton monsters but there were others that looked like the little flame monster Toby had. The more I read about them, the more my interest in them grew. It was fascinating how each of them had their own personalities. After browsing a few more entries I had made up my mind. Tomorrow I would be paying the local adoption center a visit.

When I walked into the center I had no plan in mind. I wasn't sure what I was looking for, all I knew was that I wanted to adopt. I gazed around the room at all the different Bitties as they went about their business. Most seemed too occupied with other patrons or each other to pay me any attention. That's when I saw him. Over in a gloomy corner of the room, all by himself, was a rather large skeleton Bitty with a rather sour expression on his face. He was wearing a black and red suit that made him look like some kind of supervillain. My interests were peaked. I spoke to an obnoxiously perky worker (her name tag said "Tina") who seemed far too happy to answer my questions. I asked her about the adoption process and other things I needed to know about taking care of Bitties. Then I asked her about the angry looking Bitty in the corner. Instantly her demeanor soured.

"Oh," she said with an unhappy expression. "Everybody calls him Boss."

"Boss, huh?" I muttered gazing over at the still sulking (skullking) skeleton. His head was turned in my direction and he seemed to be glaring at me. Images of cowering henchmen popped into my head. "Gee Boss, how was we s'posed ta know Superman would show up?" They were saying. I smiled slightly at my imagination. I turned back to Tina.

"Why is he so.... you know...?"

"Grumpy?" Tina said with a small frown. I nodded. The worker sighed in an exhausted manner.

"Boss has been here for a while. Actually he's been here longer than all the others. He's been adopted at least fifteen times or more but everybody keeps bringing him back."

I balked. Fifteen times!?

"Why'd they bring him back?" I asked. She gave another tired sigh.

"Well, he's a little bit of a trouble maker. Not as bad as an Edgy, mind you, but he still causes trouble." she explained. I had to think for a moment as to what an Edgy was when I actually saw one out of the corner of my eye. Then my memory jogged: Also wears red and black, gold tooth, likes mustard, will bite. Oh yeah.

"But he did toss a table at someone once." Tina added in a near whisper. I gave her a wide-eyed "please-tell-me-you're-joking look". She gave me a very serious "I-only-wish-I-was-joking" look in return.

"The truth is, he's really mean and nasty to people. Even the other Bitties are scared of him. I don't think he's really interested in being adopted." With that, her perky attitude returned. "Just let me know if you need any more help, okay?" She bounced off seemingly happy to be done with the unpleasant conversation.

Now any normal middle aged woman would have lost any and all interest in "Lord Hater" over there, but I'm not a normal middle aged woman. The idea of having my very own mini super-villain actually had me inwardly squealing with delight. Did he really throw a table at somebody? How? Surely he was too small to pull something like that off. There was only one way to find out and that was to ask him.

When I approached him he was pulling the electronic insides out of various gaming devices. I'm no expert on such things but it looked ever so slightly like he was making a bomb. I cleared my throat. He glared up at me.

"Make it quick." He snapped, clearly not in the mood to be social. It was then that I realized I had no idea how to start a conversation with him. How do you talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to you? So I just blurted out the first dumb thing that came to mind.

"So.... I heard you threw a table at someone...." Smooth.

The evil looking Bitty gnashed his sharp looking teeth at me and snarled. "Yes. As a matter of fact I did. The human was very fond of wasting my time. Much like yourself!"

Well, we're certainly off to a good start. I started to say something else but he interrupted me.

"Let's get to the point, shall we?" he said with a impatient growl. "I'm not cute or soft or fuzzy. I won't cling to your leg and cry every time you go to work in the mornings. I will not allow you to make me wear ridiculously cute clothes no matter how hard you worked on them or how much they cost. I will not make friends with your filthy, slobbering pets. I will not be nice to your insipid friends or family members. I will not cuddle with you or even allow you to put your worthless hands on me, especially without my permission! "

At this point his eye sockets began glowing with a sinister red light. I backed up a little. I was not expecting this!

"And most importantly, don't think for a moment that you can get on my good side by trying to pamper me. I'm not a pet but I am certainly not your child, so don't get it into your empty, bleach soaked head that I will EVER refer to you as my mother!"

The glow in his eye sockets vanished and he seemed to calm down a bit. I still kept my distance though.

"Now that all that is out of the way, if you are no longer interested in... adopting... me then be on your way. I would rather have my own ribs removed than listen to any more of your foolishness."

I just stared at him. Well, how was I supposed to respond to that? I also noticed how deathly quiet the adoption center was. I glanced over my shoulder to see the other Bitties cowering behind various toys, small furniture, and each other. An Edgy bitty had the nerve to laugh at the stupid look on my face but a fierce glare from Boss sent him scampering behind a Softy that was somehow sleeping standing up.

The moment had passed and my brain finally turned back on.

"Well," I said "Most of that's not really a problem. I mostly work out of my home so I don't have to leave to go to work except on Mondays. I don't have any pets because they aren't allowed in the apartments. Bitties are okay though!"

Here Boss gave me a very pointed look and crossed his bony arms.

".... You know.... 'cause they... aren't pets..." I added nervously. "I go to visit my family every other weekend. They don't really come over. As for all that other stuff, I wouldn't want to make you uncomfortable." I made it a point to leave out the fact that I never really had any friends.

I also realized what the conversation between the Bitty and I symbolized. Was I actually going to adopt him? A ton of paper work and about 3 hundred dollars worth of merchandise later, it seemed the answer was "yes". Getting him to the car was a bit of a challenge. He'd already stated that he did not want me picking him up and he flatly refused to go into the carrier I'd been provided. As he put it:

"I will not be caged and carried about like a pet rat!"

Well okay then.

So Boss marched like a pro, out the door and towards the parking lot, trying his best to look like a bad ass and not like the teeny weeny little monster that he actually was. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at him.

When we finally made it to my car (his tiny booted feet don't cover much ground too quickly) he stood at the passenger door and looked at me in an expecting manner. I opened the door for him and he climbed into the passenger seat and, with some difficulty, buckled himself in. Only the bottom strap of the seat belt covered him and it completely covered his middle. If he had been one of the smaller Bitties the seat belt would have covered him completely. He had his arms folded across his chest and was wearing a decidedly unhappy expression. He seemed tired more than anything, probably from that long walk across the parking lot. From what I had seen even the most rugged of Bitties would seem at least somewhat excited about being adopted. Boss was acting like it was more of an inconvenience than anything else. Then I remembered: This wasn't his first rodeo. He'd been adopted and returned so many times that the idea of adoption in itself probably no longer mattered to him. That made my heart break a little. As nervous as I was I was still excited about my new buddy. I guess it would have been nice if he felt the same way. Mostly I just wanted the little guy to be happy.

Once I got all of his equipment loaded into the back seat I got into the car, put on my seat belt ('cause safety first and all that shit), and started up the car. The drive was uncomfortably silent. Several times I tried to start a conversation with Boss but he would only grumble a curt reply or not reply at all. It was too quiet. I reached over to turn on the radio. As soon as the peppy 80's pop music filled the air Boss began covering his non-existent ears.

"Must I be forced to listen to this unholy caterwauling?" he demanded, grinding his sharp teeth. I quickly hit the button flooding the car with silence once more.

"Sorry. I... I just don't like quiet car rides." I said. "I should have asked, though."

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Boss giving me a look of surprise which quickly faded into one of skepticism. "Hmph. Yes. You should have asked." he muttered. A moment later he added, "but if you must listen to that hideous cacophony you could at least do so at a reasonable volume."

I shot him a pleased smile. He just grumbled something and turned his empty glare out the window. I reached for the radio dial but stopped when a thought occurred to me.

"What kind of music do you like?" I asked.

Boss looked at me as if I had asked him the meaning of life. He sputtered in slight annoyance for a moment then just stared at me. I had no idea what his problem with the question was but when it dawned on me it took a bit of effort to keep from driving off the road and into the ditch. Had no one else ever asked him that before? After a moment of quiet contemplation he answered, "I don't know what I like." He said it using the softest, least grumpy voice I'd ever heard him use.

I nearly wrecked again. How could he not know what he liked? Had none of his previous adopters bothered to find out? This got me thinking about all the "rules" he'd listed of all the thing he refused to do. I thought he was just being hateful as Boss Bitties are prone to do. Now I realized that those where things that people had actually put him through. While none of it was abuse in the traditional sense it was still highly embarrassing and disrespectful to try to force him to do those things. Had no one ever given any consideration to his feelings at all? And afterwards he probably acted out in a violent manner. Was that the reason he'd been returned so many times?

"Do you want to be in charge of the radio then?" I asked him. "That way you don't have to listen to garbage and I don't have to sit in silence."

I glanced at him. He seemed to be deep in thought. A few minutes later I heard the radio turn on. I smiled. I didn't know it then but that single moment of respect had opened the door to better things for the both of us.


	2. Lair, Sweet Lair (Underfell Papyrus Part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boss is a picky guy. He's also a bit of an asshole with no respect for other people's property. Too bad his new caretaker is such a tolerant lady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder, there will be other characters in upcoming chapters. I do want this story with Boss to be ongoing though. All of these stories take place in the same universe. I've got an idea for a one-shot involving Baby Blue who is a Bitty Based on Underswap Sans. OCs will be introduced at some point, too. The really dark stories will come later so be prepared for that.

It had been a couple of hours since I brought Boss home, and in all that time I was just now getting all of his things set up in a way that he liked. I say "I" instead of "we" because Boss refused to do any of the manual labor himself. He said that it was beneath him and furthermore, he was a guest and shouldn't have to do such things. A guest, huh? I guess he still wasn't used to the idea of this being his permanent home (or he was just being a bossy jerk). I was hoping that with a little more time that mentality would fade. I was hoping that his habit of treating me like a slave would fade a lot sooner, though. 

Setting up his little room was kinda fun though (at first). Tina back at the adoption center helped me pick out the stuff she said Boss would like. They had various furniture, toys, games, puzzles, and other domestic things that were designed for each type of Bitty. Boss was what they called an "Underfell" type so most of the stuff designed for his type looked like it came from Marilyn Manson's home decor collection. Everything was black and red and spiky with fancy gold trim. Honestly if I was a bit more into the whole Goth thing I would've been jealous at all the awesome stuff he got to have. I got him a fancy long table that looked like it was made out of some kind of shiny black stone or marble. It was decorated with golden horned skulls that had red gems embedded in their eye sockets (fake, of course). There were at least six matching chairs to go with it. They each had seats made of cushy red velvet material. The legs of the chairs were carved to look like wicked beast feet complete with sharp claws. His bed looked ever so much like a coffin decorated with black thorns, skulls, bat wings, and other stuff that would have looked fitting on a Heavy Metal album cover. The only thing soft about it was the red fabric that served as a mattress and the red and gold trimmed blanket and pillow. There was a very cozy looking red sofa that sported the same scary beast feet as the dining chairs. The arms of the sofa were adorned with more golden demon skulls with red gem eyes. 

Once I got it all set up I noticed how much all his stuff clashed with my childishly bright colored room. If Boss noticed the clash he didn't comment on it. In fact, it was the only thing he didn't complain about. The first time I set up his room for him he growled about how I got the Fung Shui all wrong. Once I rearranged it all, he said that the bed was facing the window and the "accursed sun" would shine in his face in the early mornings. I kept rearranging things and he kept complaining. The sofa was too close to the wall! The dining chairs are too far from the table! The bed was crooked! The lighting was too dim! The lighting was too bright! With every new order came a new insult. I was called every mean thing in the English language and maybe a few from some other languages as well. It went on until I thought I was going to throw myself out of the window. Finally, FINALLY, I got everything set up the way he wanted. Yet he stared at the small room rubbing his bony, pointed chin and grumbling things under his breath.  
I brushed a sweat soaked stray hair out of my face and huffed in frustration. 

"What is it now?" I said, almost letting on exactly how fed up with his crap I was. 

He looked up at me, completely ignoring my tone, and said, "Something's missing." I sighed heavily.

"Well, whatever it is, Boss, may we please let it wait until tomorrow?" I begged. 

The pointy little monster turned back to his new domicile and muttered, "Yes. Yes, I supposed it is rather late. Yes, it can wait." 

Then he went back to muttering under his breath. I sighed again, this time with relief. Thank God. 

"Okay, Boss, you make yourself at home. I'm gonna go take a shower." 

Boss merely snorted in acknowledgement and waved a clawed hand at me dismissively. I can only assume that meant that I had permission to leave. I rolled my eyes but smiled as I made my way to the bathroom. I was beginning to understand why Boss had a hard time being settled into a home. He loved being in charge and it didn't seemed to matter if the person he bossed around was 10 times bigger than him. Most people weren't too tolerant of that kind of behavior, especially if the person bossing them around was 10 times smaller than them. Humans like being in charge. That was something that was just a part of our DNA. It was only natural for a human to want to treat a little guy like Boss as if he were just a pet that was supposed to do everything he was told. The idea made me scowl a bit as I got undressed and got into the shower. 

Some time later I opened the bathroom door, letting the steam into the bedroom. I was dressed in my comfy night shirt and feeling much more relaxed and ready for whatever the tiny tyrant threw at me (as long as it wasn't a table).

"How's it going, Boss?" I asked in a cheery voice. "Did you figure out what was missing? We can go back to the center in the morning and let you pick out a few more things if you want."

I looked into his room to see a very smug Boss reclining in a very fancy, if not somewhat familiar) throne. 

"That won't be necessary, my dear moron." he said in an oh so self-satisfied tone. "I managed to find exactly what I needed to bring my new lair together." 

He gestured grandly to the throne he was lounging in. I looked it over. Yeah, it was a really nice throne and it really did bring his little home together... but it sure looked familiar. Suddenly it hit me.

"Hey, Boss, where did you get that throne?" I asked. Boss gave me an especially nasty grin. 

"I found it on top of that rat's nest you no doubt call a desk." He informed me, still grinning like he'd just eaten a baby right in front of me. "It was being occupied at the time, but I put it to better use." 

I glanced towards my desk. My eyes zoned in on the spot where my figure of Dr. Doom should have been. His throne was gone of course and the Emperor of Latveria himself was now lying face down on top of one of my work folders with his plastic rump sticking up in the air in a pathetic display of defeat. I looked back at the throne that Boss was sitting in. The large fancy "D" that adorned the top of the throne had been replaced with a black "B" in an even fancier font in spite of the fact that it looked like it was done with magic marker. 

I looked down into Boss's smug face. He was grinning up at me in an almost expectant way. I could have gotten mad, no, I should have gotten mad. That Dr. Doom action figure was an expensive collector's item. The"redecorating" Boss had done to the throne had brought down the value of it significantly. I should have been furious. I wasn't, though. The situation was just too funny and oddly cute that I just couldn't bring myself to be angry.

"Boss, do realize what this means?" I asked him in a serious tone. Boss shot me an almost challenging look. 

"What?" he demanded.

"You've done the unthinkable! You've actually dethroned Dr. Doom!" I said with mock horror.

Boss sank back into his new throne and crossed his arms with a huff. 

"Feh! It wasn't exactly difficult considering he was made of plastic." he grumbled.

I snickered but tried to contain myself. Boss just glared. I resisted the urge to pet him on his little skull. I really didn't want to pull back a bloody nub. 

Later, as I turned out the lights and climbed into bed, I couldn't help but think about that look on Boss's face. It seemed like he was almost disappointed that I didn't yell at him. I didn't get it. Why would he want me to get angry with him? I know he said he didn't want to be pampered or mothered but did that mean he didn't want me to be nice to him, either? Was it because he was expecting me to return him like everyone else? Did he think that if he gave me a reason to dislike him then it would be easier to hate me when I got angry, so there would be no emotional attachment when I ultimately abandoned him? Damn, this line of thinking was making me depressed. Whatever his issue was, it would have to wait until in the morning. I rolled over and closed my eyes, but not before calling out into the darkness:

"Good night, Boss." 

He didn't reply, but I didn't really expect him to. 


	3. Bonding (Underfell Papyrus Part 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boss's caretaker was bothered by the fact that no one had ever really tried to get to know him and seeks to rectify that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: This is a rush job filler chapter, but I hope that's okay. This chapter is basically a mish mash of various moments I wanted Boss and his caretaker to have together. 
> 
> NOTE 2: I also want to thank everybody that commented and followed this story. I started this as mostly a way to entertain myself but it's nice to know that others are entertained by my odd little fan fictions, too! Thanks again! This chapter's dedicated to all of you!

In the next few weeks, whenever I wasn't working I was hanging around Boss and trying to get to know him better. It was easier than I thought it would be because Boss's favorite thing to talk about was himself. Many times I found myself just sitting and listening to him talk about how amazing he was. I suppose it could get a little boring listening to someone talk about themselves for hours and hours but Boss had that way of saying things that made him interesting no matter what he was talking about. He had lots of stories to share about his time at the center as well as some of the trouble he got into the first few times he got adopted. He ranted quite a bit about all the undignified things he was expected to do. My favorite story so far was the time when all the other Bitties started calling him "Batman". 

"I'm nothing like that infernal do-gooder! I haven't the faintest idea why those ignorant buffoons kept comparing me to him." he told me.

At that very moment a stray breeze from the open window began fluttering his tattered cape dramatically. That couple with the menacing, if not indignant, pose he was doing caused me to have to pretend to get choked on my coffee so that I could rush to the bathroom and try to quell my laughing fit. 

I found that Boss was quite self sufficient. Unlike most Bitties he was perfectly happy to feed, dress, and bathe himself. Actually he viciously refused any help in those departments. When it came to finding out what his likes and dislikes were I was actually surprised at some of my discoveries. For one thing he liked to cook, not just simple meals either. We're talking full scale gourmet stuff. Pasta seemed to be his favorite. That seemed to be something that all of the Bitties of his type had in common. He wouldn't settle for a regular ol' Chef Boyardee spaghetti and meatballs though. Oh no. Not Boss. He had to have ridiculously expensive stuff like champagne shrimp and pasta or ravioli in vodka sauce. So I made it a point to set aside a little (a lot actually) of cash so that we could splurge on fancy food. Since he seemed to know his way around the kitchen I let him be in charge of dinner. Though I was the one that did all the stirring and chopping, Boss was the one that called the shots. Oh and he loved it, too. Several times I caught him smiling as he tasted something. I had to hide a snicker on occasion when whatever meal we'd been working on would come to completion and Boss would do that laugh of his as if he'd just unleashed a giant robot on an unsuspecting town full of nuns and orphaned children. I can't say that I was displeased with having a decent meal for a change. Before Boss came along I was practically living off of ramen noodles and ham sandwiches. I loved eating dinner with him, too, even though he'd get irritated with me because I kept giggling for no apparent reason. I finally told him it was because I wasn't used to having food like this and I felt like I was being spoiled. He smiled at that. 

"Well, I can understand your merriment. After all not many get to sample the culinary arts of a extraordinary chef such as myself!" he said without even a hint of modesty. 

I nodded in agreement though I know that wasn't the real reason I kept giggling. I just couldn't get over how adorable he looked at his tiny dining table with his Bitty sized plates, cups, and silverware. 

"Boss, you're killing me here." I moaned as the combination of cute and creepy became too much. He gave me a strange look and muttered something about "ridiculous cretin". 

When I was working, which usually consisted of me sitting at my desk at the computer for a few hours each day, Boss would occupy himself in some form or another. He would often pull down a few of my old textbooks using his magic (which was something that was going to take a while to get used to). He was a glutton for knowledge and spent most of his days reading up on his favorite subject, namely human physiology. He seemed fascinated with the idea that humans were basically just skeletons themselves only covered in organs and meat. He also seemed fascinated with all the different ways a human could be killed. Eh, sometimes his hobbies creeped me out but I never complained. 

Sometimes I listened to music when I worked. Usually I wore earbuds or a headset so it wouldn't bother Boss while he read. I must have had my volume up a bit too loud one day, because Boss asked, or rather demanded to know what I was listening to. I explained that I listened to calm music such as Jazz or Classical when I worked because it helped me concentrate. I was listening to some classical at that moment and I wanted to see what his reaction would be so I took off my headset and set it down on the desk next to him. He stood there with his arms crossed looking as stoic and unimpressed as ever. I went back to my work for a bit expecting him to get bored and wander back over to whatever he was doing, but when I went to reach for my headset I saw Boss was now lounging in between the speakers and staring up at the ceiling with a very contemplative look on his face. Funny, but I always imagined Boss as a Metalhead, though I suppose it wasn't too surprising that Mr. Intellectual would go for Classical. Either way I now knew what kind of music Boss would listen to. 

The biggest shock came when I found out what Boss liked to watch. I tried watching horror movies with him first, thinking that all that darkness and death would be right up his alley. Unfortunately he seemed rather bored with them, even offended at times because as he put it, 

"Real monsters have more class and style! Just look at the state of that chainsaw! Disgraceful!" 

Okay, so Boss would probably have the fanciest torture chamber ever. 

After that I just left him alone with my DVDs so he could browse through them and see if he found anything interesting. I didn't really expect him to, though. Let me explain, I am very much a child of the 80s and I clung to many of the things that I liked in my younger years: the music, the movies, and especially the cartoons. I had a ton of old 80s cartoons on DVD like the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, The Smurfs, and Gummi Bears. In fact, that was the majority of my DVD collection. I doubted Boss would find anything he wanted to watch in that group. So imagine my shock when I came back to him sitting on my sofa watching one of the corniest (but much-loved) 80s cartoons ever, "He-Man and the Masters of the Universe"! 

"You fool! You've let them escape again! Stop relying on those inane simpletons you call henchmen and do your own dirty work!!" Boss yelled at the screen. 

In a curious daze, I made my way over to the sofa and sat down next to him. My much bigger body caused him to bounce on the cushions slightly. He shot me an annoyed glare but turned back to the screen. 

"Oh you incompetent nitwit! No wonder you haven't taken over Grayskull yet!" he snarled angrily shaking a tiny fist in the air. 

I couldn't take it anymore, "Boss, are you yelling at Skeletor?" I asked him, with a small smirk. 

"He's a disgrace to skeletons everywhere! How dare he call himself the Master of Evil when he can't even..." 

Boss launched into a full blown rant about everything wrong with the cartoon. He complained about the cheap animation and the constant reuse of animated sequences. He moaned about how annoying the good guys were and he had quite a lot to say about how dumb the bad guys were. But once he was done he immediately asked if I had anymore episodes of He-Man on DVD. 

After that, we made it a weekly ritual to watch my cartoon collections together every Saturday morning. That brought back so many fond memories of when my brother and I used to get up at the crack of dawn and watch Saturday morning cartoons when we were younger. My heart tugged at the memories, but I was just as content to make new memories with Boss. Yes I am fully aware of how sappy that sounded and I am deeply ashamed of myself. I won't take it back though!

Something between Boss and I had changed, too. It was rough going for a while, but I seemed to have finally worn most of the sharp edges off of his pointy exterior. He was still grumpy, demanding, and bossy beyond all human understanding, but it wasn't as bad as when we first met. He stopped doing random acts of small scale "evil" in attempts to get me to dislike him. He still referred to me as insulting things such as "idiot", "moron", "simpleton" and the like but now he did so with a playful smile. Such insults were now more like disguised terms of endearment. Of course he'd never admit to that, not even if his life depended on it. He was also much more willing to compromise about things than he used to be. Of course, that didn't stop him from pouting and grumbling about it later. 

The final hint that a real friendship had begun to bloom happened one night when I was lounging around on the sofa. It had been a long day and I was just vegging out, watching whatever pointless, un-entertaining crap happened to be on TV at the moment. I had noticed that Boss had been avoiding me for most of the day. I just assumed he was in one of those "I'm-being-mysterious-and-spooky-because-I'm-planning-some-mischief-for-you-to-have-to-deal-with" moods that he sometimes got into. That didn't seem to be the case though. His mood seemed to be more moping and less lurking this time. At some point during the night, he wandered into the living room and stood next to the couch. He was just standing there, not saying anything. I looked to the end of the couch to see Boss looking up at me with an odd expression on his face. He seemed deep in thought about something but also extremely annoyed.

"Boss? Is everything alright?" I asked.

He grumbled a bit before finally saying. "Of course, you fool." in a voice much quieter than what he usually used. He was pointedly refusing to look me in the eyes. I looked back at the TV to give him time to do or say whatever he needed to. In all the time we spent together he was still getting used to the idea of domestic life. He was still testing the waters of our relationship because he still wasn't sure exactly what to think of me just yet. I knew this and was prepared for anything... anything except what happened next. 

I suddenly felt a tug on my sock followed by the odd feeling of being climbed on. I froze. I just lay there as Boss climbed up to my chest and proceeded to lay belly down on my chest. He faced away from the TV, huffed heavily, and lay still, sprawled out on my chest like a cat.

"I- I had planned to sleep on the couch tonight..." he muttered; his voice muffled by the fabric of my T-Shirt. "... but there seems to be a large pile of garbage in the way."

I could feel warmth coming off of him and I didn't need to see his face to know he was a blushing mess.   
I had to slap a hand across my mouth to keep from screaming like a hormonal teenager at a boy band concert. 

"S-sorry, B-Boss. I kinda had the same idea." I stuttered through my fingers.

It was taking all my self control and adult maturity to keep from snatching him up and cuddling him to death. I didn't dare though. This was new for both of us. In the few weeks that I had known him, Boss had never allowed me to pick him up or touch him. Cuddles, hugs, and all the good stuff people normally expect from Bitties never happened between us. I wasn't too happy about it but I never wanted my little friend to be uncomfortable around me so I never forced it. The idea that Boss would initiate cuddling never crossed my mind, especially since he seemed so dead set against it when we first met. 

Normally I'm not a sappy type of woman. I hated chick flicks, rolled my eyes at soap operas, and didn't bat an eye at sad Disney moments. Reunions, baby showers, weddings, and all the events that were supposed to make females turn on their water works didn't phase me. Yet, here I was with big, salty tears making rivers down my cheeks while my throat was aching from the pain of holding back sobs. I didn't dare make a sound or move. I didn't want to ruin the moment. If I had done anything to disturb Boss at that moment I would have killed myself right then and there. 

So there we lay; Boss cuddled up on my chest pretending to be highly inconvenienced and me holding back tears and feeling like I found the meaning to life. Eventually the river of feels dried up and I could tell that Boss had drifted off to sleep. I didn't know if he would ever initiate this level of closeness with me again but I was going to cherish this moment for the rest of my life. Just before turning off the TV I stole a glance at Boss's sleeping face. He was smiling ever so slightly and seeing that relaxed, happy expression instead of his usual grumpy one was all it took to get me crying again. 

I flicked off the TV and took a moment to compose myself. 

"Jeez, You're killing me, Boss." I whispered into the darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bam! Pow! Zap! Gotcha right in the feels didn't I, punks!? Well, I got most of the fluffy stuff out of my system in this chapter so next chapter I'm bringing on the angst. Get your boxes of tissues ready, people!


	4. Tribulation Pt. 1 (Underfell Papyrus Pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So things have returned back to normal for Boss and his Caretaker, for a little while that is. Boss has been acting a little off lately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This chapter was hard to get out for some reason. I kept having to rewrite it for one dumb reason or another. This was going to be a lot longer but to get it out quicker I decided to break it up into a two-parter. Sorry for the wait. I'll make some real effort to not take forever on the next chapters.

When I woke up the next day, Boss was nowhere to be found. I can only assume he'd woken up early and got out of there before the situation got more awkward for him. Later that day I crossed his path in the hallway and could tell that he had fallen back into his rude little jerk routine. He said nothing about the night before, so neither did I. I figured he was probably a bit flustered by his own actions and wasn't ready to do that kind of thing again. I knew that it was only a matter of time before he realized that he had finally found a permanent home with someone who actually cared about him.

Speaking of which, it wasn't long before I realized that I was totally in love with the little guy. Not like romantic love or anything but not platonic love either. You know what I mean? Eh, maybe not. It's hard to explain. All I know is that I would've done anything for the little tyrant. 

It had been a few months after his initial adoption and I was noticing something off about Boss. He was acting uncharacteristically sluggish and showing less and less interest in anything. Then when he began skipping meals and actually left me to cook dinner on my own I really began to worry. Later that night, I went into the bedroom to check on him. He was in his little room, sitting on his stolen throne. He wasn't lounging on it like he usually did. He was hunched forward with his elbows on his knees and his skull in his hands. He looked uncomfortable. 

"Boss?" I called out to him quietly. 

He slowly looked up at me. When I saw his face, I could feel my brows furrow with worry. I'd never seen him look so unhappy. Grumpy and sullen? Yes. Genuinely miserable? No!

"Boss, what's eating you? Are you alright?" I asked. 

"I am merely tired." he said. What? No insults or name calling? Something was really wrong with him! 

"Come on. Level with me, here?" I said and knelt down next to him. "You've been acting really out of character for the last few days. You haven't wanted to read or watch TV. You've been skipping meals. You've been sleeping a lot. You didn't even want to do dinner with me tonight. That's not like you at all! Please tell me what's going on!"

Boss sighed heavily.  

"I'm tired," he said. "I don't know why I'm tired. I feel like my bones have been turned into spaghetti noodles. And I hurt. My ribs feel like they're shrinking and crushing me." 

He sat up a little and sighed again. It sounded like it caused him pain to do so. I sighed, too. I was partially relieved because now I knew what was wrong with him.

"You're sick, Boss." I told him.

Boss shot out of the throne so fast I thought he was going to knock it over. He pointed right in my face with a clawed finger bone; eye sockets ablaze with red light.

"Don't you dare assume I'm some weakling like you, human! I do not get sick!" he bellowed. Immediately, he started coughing. 

Defiant 'till the end. That's my Boss! I tried not to giggle at his little tantrum. 

"Take it easy, Boss." I said. "I know you're a tough guy and all that jazz, but everybody gets sick at one time or another. Even tough guys like you."

He collapsed back in the throne once his coughing fit was over. He muttered some insults under his breath and I chuckled softly. 

"If you're not better by tomorrow, I want to take you to the doctor. Okay?" I said. Boss looked like he was going to protest, but I interrupted, "Humor me, please?"

Boss growled, but gave in. 

"Fine! If it will stop your infernal whining!"

Satisfied, I turned in for the night. The first thing I did when I awoke the next day was check on Boss. I knelt down next to his room and peered inside to see him bundled up in his coffin bed. I knew that I shouldn't wake him but I wanted to make sure he was okay. 

"Boss. Hey, wake up." I said with the least abrasive tone I knew. No response. 

"Boss, wake up, please!" I said in a slightly louder tone. Still no response.

"BOSS! HEY! WAKE UP!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. Not even a grumble. 

Okay, that does it! I reached over and tugged the covers off of him. I expected Boss to still be sick and a bit groggy because of it. I did not expect Boss to be curled in on himself and shivering as if he'd been sleeping on a block of ice. My heart clenched up. Not giving a damn about his "no touching" policy, I placed a finger to his forehead. He was burning up! Jumping up in a panic, I threw on some clothes, bunched my hair into a sloppy pony tale, and slammed on some shoes. I bundled Boss up in his blankets and quickly but carefully carried him out to the car. I knew that the Bitty Bones adoption center had a medical facility with doctors that specialized in the care of Bitties. So, I drove as fast as I could, within the law, to the center. The last thing I needed was to pulled over by a cop, whom I sincerely doubted would've given a crap about a sick Bitty. 

The whole way there I was talking to Boss, trying desperately to get him to say something, anything, to me. His lack of response was terrifying me. I wanted him to insult me. I wanted him to angrily insist that he was not sick. I wanted him to do anything to let me know that he wasn't as bad off as I thought he was. 

Finally I made it to the center. I parked the car and got out; very gently holding Boss to my chest. I ran into the center and saw Tina at the front desk. 

"Where's the medical center!?" I shouted at her. 

Tina balked at my panicked voice and rushed demeanor. Her wide, green eyes drifted to my arms where Boss was wrapped up in his blanket. 

"Oh no!" she said. "Here, I'll take you right to it!" she offered and motioned for me to follow her. I was worried that she would waste my time asking what was wrong but I'm grateful that she didn't. She lead me to a waiting room where a nurse was seated behind a desk. 

"Get the doctor! It's an emergency!" Tina told the nurse. The nurse snapped up and jogged out of the room. A few moments later she came back and motioned for me to come with her. I followed her to a room where a doctor stood waiting. I thought he was just human until he turned and I saw the tusks protruding from his lower lips and the single eye in the middle of his forehead. A cyclops, I noted through my hazy, hectic thoughts. 

"Alright, Miss, let's take it easy." He said in a voice much smoother than I expected. "May I hold him, please?" 

I hesitated a moment but then understood that I would have to hand Boss over to him in order for him to be helped. I carefully unwrapped Boss from his blankets and cautiously placed him in the doctor's gloved, three fingered hands. I absentmindedly wondered when they started making gloves for monsters. Once the doctor began examining Boss, I collapsed into a nearby chair. I watched through unfocused eyes as the doctor uncovered Boss and laid him out on a small exam table. I noticed my hands were trembling. The adrenaline in my system had finally crashed and I was feeling the effects of it. I glanced down at the ugly, beaten up sneakers and tried my best to calm myself. Everything was fine. Everything was okay. Boss just had a nasty monster version of the flu or something. The doc would give me some medicine and I'd have to sweet talk Boss into taking it. I smiled as I thought of that.

"Excuse me," the doctor's voice startled me back into reality. I glanced up at him. 

"I won't lie to you," he said. "Your Bitty is very, very sick." 

I stared straight into his single blue eye. 

"But it's fine though, right? He just needs some medication, right?" I asked; worry beginning to course through me.  
   
"I'm afraid it's not that simple," the doctor said. "Your Bitty's condition is magic related. There isn't any medicine that can help with that. Not even monster foods could help. This is a condition I see quite often with older Bitty's, especially ones like Boss here. Boss has been in and out of this clinic just as much as he's been in and out of the adoption center itself." 

"WHAT! He never told me that!" I shouted. The doctor winced just a bit at my tone but continued.

"That's just the way Boss is. He'd never admit to having a medical condition or anything else that he would consider a weakness." he said with a sad smile.

"Yeah, that sounds like Boss." I said. "But what about this condition you say he has?" 

"It's complicated. When Boss was first brought to me many years ago, I could see that his soul was damaged. Each time a new owner brought him in for check ups I could see more and more damage to his soul. I told his owners about the damage but none of them seemed to know exactly what was causing this damage." 

The doctor then went on about how a monster's soul was basically their entire being and he mentioned something about how Boss's magic had slowly been draining over the years. The more the doctor talked, the more confused I got. The more confused I got, the more frustrated I became.  

"Okay, Doc, just give it to me straight, will ya? What's wrong with Boss?" 

The cyclopean doctor sighed wearily and gave me a very serious look. 

"I suppose there's no way to sugar coat it. To put it in human terms, Boss is dying of a broken heart."

The room suddenly got uncomfortably cold.

"Did...did you say... Boss is... dying?" I stammered as a flurry of emotions flooded my mind. 

The doctor nodded.

"Yes. I'm afraid so." 


	5. Bitty Bones Tales To Do List... and stuff...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Planned story ideas and characters to feature. Also information on the Bitty Bones AU itself. Yes I know people hate information chapters but this stuff is important, I promise!

I want to take the time to say how amazed I am that people actually like this story. I'm genuinely flattered by all the attention it's been getting. I'm also positively stunned by it's popularity. Seriously, within minutes of posting the fourth chapter my phone was going crazy with notifications about comments! Where you guys on stand by or something? Even as I write this my phone is still buzzing me! 

Aside from that, I want to give you guys a look at what the future holds for these stories. Also, I've notice a lot of people in the comments asking to see certain characters like Underfell Sans and Horrortale Sans. Here's where you'll see who's up next and when they'll show up.  

CAUTION: If you are the type to dislike spoilers, please DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER! The following list may spoil some things about the story for you!

So here's my To Do list:

1\. Tribulation part 2 -- Touching stuff between a dying Boss and his Caretaker.

2\. Lost and Found -- Things get rough for a Baby Blue (Underswap Sans) Bitty that gets seperated from his parents in the park. Things get rougher when he finds himself in danger and meets a very large, very scary looking feral Bitty named Teddy (Horrortale Sans).

3\. No definite story involved here but Edgy (Underfell Sans) will be making an appearance soon. I have a few ideas of what I want to do with him but I won't share that information because it would spoil some things. 

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So that's my to do list so far. Here's some information on upcoming characters and how I will write them. But before I go into great detail about all that, I really want you guys to pay a visit to the tumblr page of the creator of the Bitty Bones AU. Any of you that is new to this particular AU may find this blog helpful to clear up any confusion you may have. It's also full of the creator's adorable artwork! I'll provide links that will take you right to some of the key pages: 

This page lists the Sans-based Bitties: http://bittybones-au.tumblr.com/post/140080012314/fucken-crybaby-sansy-from-undertale-lazy

Papyrus Bitties: http://bittybones-au.tumblr.com/post/140116609189/bittybones-pap-adoptables-papy-undertale

Grillby Bitties: http://bittybones-au.tumblr.com/post/141596497509/meet-the-grillbitties-ray-very-shy-loves-to

WARNING: The Bitty Bones blog is okay for most ages but the creator's other blog and some of the blogs associated with it are NOT SAFE FOR WORK and contains sexual content. So be careful, and don't get mad at me if you stumble upon it by mistake. I did warn you after all. 

Yes I realize the links may not work right in Archive, so you'll just have to copy/paste. Sorry!

Okay now, here's some information about some of the upcoming characters: 

1\. Baby Blue -- Baby Blue is based on cute little Underswap Sans. Many authors like to depict him as really niave and childlike. I feel that the Bitty Bones version of him wouldn't be quite so niave due to the fact that his adoptors problably wouldn't be as protective as Underswap Papyrus. In other words, I see him as childlike but he knows that the world is a dangerous place and not every problem can be solved by hugging it out. He is not so innocent that he doesn't recognize a dangerous situation. He's still a little cinnamon bun though! My interpretation of Baby Blue is that he's a bit hyper and his curiousity gets him into trouble quite often. A caretaker would have to be always on guard around him. He likes superheros, fairy tales (especially the kind with brave heros), and Disney movies. He's very optimistic and is good a remembering uplifting quotes. 

2\. Edgy -- Edgy is the Bitty Bones version of Underfell Sans. I see the Bitty Bones version of him as being a bit of a destructive, demanding brat. I also see him as a more crude and more insulting than Boss. Like Boss, he keeps getting returned to the adoption center but people tend to bring him back sooner due to the one thing that he does that Boss never did: EDGY BITES! He'll bite you when he's angry, when he's bored, when he's hungry, or whenever he damn well feels like. Boss considers himself suave, well-spoken, educated, and basically in a class above everyone. Edgy is gross, ill-mannered, and he swears... a lot. I see Edgy as a kind of troubled kid who bullys others because of his super low self esteem. He wants his caretakers' attention but doesn't know how to get it without acting out in a rude and destructive manner. 

I want to include some of the other official Bitties like Sansy, Papy, Lil Bro, and Cherry but I'm not sure how to include them just yet. 

First I want to clarify some things. A lot of you were asking for Horrortale Sans. Well, there are actually two versions of the Horrortale AU and I plan to include both. I know that may confuse some people.  

The first version of Horrortale I saw was created as an unfinished fan game by Laura of Sour Apple Studios.   
This is Laura's DeviantArt site: http://sour-apple-studios.deviantart.com/   (Yay! More links!) Here's you'll find some of her Horrortale artwork. Keep in mind that this version of Horrortale was based on what Laura felt the Underfell AU should have been. That's why you may see some pictures of "nice Flowey" with the Protagonist (who is not Frisk, by the way). This is also my favorite version of Horrortale.

And here you can play a teaser of the unfinished game: http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/677418  
And before you ask, nope, I have no idea if she'll ever finish the game.

The other version of Horrortale can be found here: http://horrortale.tumblr.com/ 

This version of Horrortale has a more traditional folklore/Gothic horror story feel to it while the Sour Apple Studios Horrortale feels more like a Slasher movie. But that's just the way I see them.

I'll talk more about Horrortale in the next note as this one is getting a bit too long and rambling.

In the meantime keep a look out for the next Information chapter as well as the next story chapter! 


	6. Info Chapter: The Wild Ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look at the lore I've dreamed up for this series as well as some upcoming characters.

I know some of you hate these information chapters but hopefully this will be the last one. In this chapter I want to introduce you to my Bitty Bones OCs, though I'm still a bit reluctant to say that they are "mine" as they are based on other people's Undertale AU characters. But since most Bitties are based on AU characters I guess that doesn't really matter...? Okay let me get to the point before I confuse myself any further!

Let me begin by explaining a little bit of the lore I've concocted for my Bitty Bones series. In this world most people know about the little adorable monsters that one can adopt from various centers across the world, but there is another type of Bitty that most people wish didn't exist. The Ferals. Ferals are Bitties that were not "born" in the specialized adoption centers. I say "born" in quotation marks because no one knows exactly how Bitties come into the world. While normal Bitties seem to simply phase into existence within the safe, warm environments of the specialized adoption centers, Ferals come into being in forests, graveyards, abandoned buildings, and other places that wouldn't be safe for normal Bitties. Unlike normal Bitties, Ferals don't need caretakers. They learn from their harsh environments how to fend for themselves... or they die trying. They are usually bigger, stronger, and have more powerful magic than normal Bitties. Furthermore, they are dangerous. They can and will kill any living thing they see as a threat. This includes full grown humans.

Life for Ferals is absolute hell. While normal Bitties are often well fed and never seem to lack for anything, Ferals are almost always cold, miserable, and on the verge of starvation. As mentioned before, Ferals will not hesitate to kill if they think they need to. It's not uncommon to hear workplace rumors of people going missing only to turn up later with nearly all the flesh stripped from their corpses and covered in little, tiny teeth marks. Ferals have also been known to break into stores and homes to steal things they may need. Besides starvation, Ferals must also deal with magical diseases brought on by their miserable lifestyle as well as the constant threat of death or injury by other Ferals in fights over food, shelter, and territory. Many if not most Ferals suffer from mental illness in some form or another. 

Currently, there are few laws in place to protect Bitties because many people in power consider Bitties to be "pets, not people" in spite of the fact that this is anything but true. Many people (both humans and monsters) are fighting to get Bitties the rights they deserve. Unfortunately, most people don't feel the same way about Ferals. Many view Ferals as extremely dangerous pests and people often set out traps and poisoned food to get rid of them. 

Because people fear Ferals so much, any Bitty caught out in the open with no caretaker in sight will be considered Feral and subject to the same sort of treatment. Lost or abandoned Bitties are also subject to whatever the Feral Bitties decide to do to them. This includes killing them for their clothes and belongings and even cannibalizing them. However, Ferals are just as likely to take any lost or abandoned Bitties they find into their group. It depends on how hungry they are at the time. Once a tame Bitty goes Feral it can be very difficult to domesticate them again.

Normal Bitties view Ferals as the boogeymen of their kind. Getting lost or abandoned in Feral territory is every Bitties worst nightmare. It's not uncommon for caretakers and adoption center workers to over hear their Bitties telling scary tales and urban legends about all the horrible things Ferals have been known to do. They are the criminals and killers of the Bitty world.

Now that I've established the lore behind Feral Bitties, it's time to introduce you to my Bitty OCs:

1\. Teddy - Based on Horrortale Sans from here: http://horrortale.tumblr.com/archive The official nickname for this version of Horrortale Sans is Teddy so that ended up being what I called the Bitty version of him. I have come across at least one other Bitty version of this guy in a VERY GOOD story called "Monsters Should Be Cute!" by TellCosy. This version is called "Pumpkin". You can find the story here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6617584/chapters/15141970

Bitty Teddy is lazy like most Sans Bitties but he is also grumpy. He doesn't talk much unless it's to say something important. Mostly he just growls in annoyance. He is the leader of a powerful group of Ferals that live in the dark, abandoned places of a large city. He is a very large for a Bitty standing almost up to an average male human's knee. While he is not as brutal as some of his followers he is the most level headed of the bunch. He's the only one of the group that has kept his sanity throughout the many hardships they've faced. In spite of his intimidating appearance he is very protective of his followers. He does have a sadistic streak though and is not above playfully terrorizing his enemies (and occasionally his friends, too). The Ferals in his group look up to him as an older brother. 

2\. Scissors - Based on Horrortale Papyrus. Scissors is Teddy's brother. Scissors got his name due to his rather unusual legs. When he was very young Scissors got caught in a trap that destroyed his legs below the knees. Some older Ferals heard his cries and came to his aid. Later his legs were replaced with the blades of a pair of scissors. The incident made him very bitter towards life and especially "big people". He suffers from occasional episodes of violent rage and has to be restrained until he calms down or gets too tired to lash out anymore. He takes things much too seriously believing that having fun or joking around are dangerous wastes of time. He is also very paranoid believing that any outsider that isn't trying to kill them is only taking the time to plan an attack. He runs on a policy of no mercy because to him danger and death are lurking around every corner. It's truly kill or be killed.

3\. Creepy - Based on Sour Apple Studios Horrortale Sans. Creepy and his brother have spent most of their lives on the verge of starvation. When he's not being lazy he's hunting for food. When he's not hunting for food he's living up to his name by just being creepy. He is the second most mentally unsound of the group and gets his kicks by terrorizing and killing "big people". Even some of the other Ferals are slightly afraid of him. He can be clingy and over protective whenever the threat of humans or larger monsters are around, especially if his brother is involved. If you ever see that ever-present smile of his disappear from his damaged face, it's too late to run. You shouldn't have gotten so close. Despite his obvious insanity he has excellent control over the other Ferals and serves as Teddy's second in command. 

4\. Freaky - Based on Sour Apple Studios Horrortale Papyrus. Freaky is a poor, confused Feral Bitty who does not always comprehend the full horror of his actions. He tries to be a good guy, he really does, but when one is so... hungry... all the time... it becomes difficult to do the right thing every time.  Freaky spends most of the time in a sort of hazy, strange world of his own. He likes puzzles, his brother, and making friends. It doesn't really matter if his "friends" end up as half-eaten corpses. He'll just make more friends! And more, and more, and more friends! Then he'll be popular! And maybe people will finally stop running away from him all the time...

5\. Gray - Based on Dusttale Sans (or Murder Sans). The most mentally disturbed of the bunch. Gray (whom Creepy likes to call "Dusty") suffered a terrible early life. No one knows exactly what terrors he may have gone through, all they know is that Gray spends his days in constant remorse for some dreadful past misdeed that he refuses to speak of. While Gray may seem of sound mind most of the time, he occasionally has a habit of talking to himself. Though if asked, he'll say he's talking to his "brother". This imaginary brother of his tends to tell him to do things that he doesn't always want to do. Really bad things. Teddy must keep a watchful eye on Gray because, for some reason, the poor lunatic refuses to harm other Bitties in any way, even if his own life is in danger. Because of this Teddy is reluctant to let Gray go anywhere by himself. For some unknown reason Gray has an unusual amount of XP for a Sans based Bitty.

\------------------------------------  
   
Man, this series got dark in a hurry!


	7. Tribulation Part 2 (Underfell Papyrus Part 5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boss is on his last legs, but his caretaker is not ready to let him go.

I was numb. Completely dead inside. I drove home in a daze. All I could think of was the Doctor's words. 

"I can give you a magical soothing potion for his pain, but I'm afraid there isn't much else to be done for him. All you can do now is make him comfortable. I'm afraid he will not last through the night... I'm so sorry..." 

This was not happening. This could not really be happening! I'd only just gotten really close to Boss and now I was told she was going to lose him? It wasn't fair, dammit! There had to be something I could do. I was determined not to give up on Boss!

Once I got back to the apartment, I very carefully carried Boss to the bedroom where I laid him down on my pillow. I couldn't bring myself to put him in his coffin bed. It seemed just a bit too "symbolic" right now. Boss fidgeted a bit, pulled at his blanket and muttered something in a voice so soft I couldn't make it out. He began shivering again. I tucked his blanket up around him. Surely he was in pain. I reached over for the potion that the monster doctor gave me. It was in a typical bottle for liquid medicine and if it hadn't been for the slight glow to the liquid inside I would have thought it to be regular medicine. The lid was a dropper. I twisted the lid off and filled the dropper with the proper dosage. I walked over to the bed where Boss lay in a shivering mass of blankets and misery. I gently lifted his head and upper body into a sitting position. 

"Okay, Boss. I want you to try and take this okay. It.... it will... make the ease the pain a bit." I almost sobbed.   
As soon as the dropper neared his mouth he clamped his teeth shut tightly. A bony arm slipped out from under his blanket and weakly swatted and pushed at the dropper. I couldn't help it. A deep sob escaped my throat and tears started running down my face. It was the first time actually I shed tears since the doctor's diagnosis. I sniffed, rubbed my eyes on my shirt sleeve, and straightened up. I knew Boss was doing his usual tough guy routine, probably thinking that painkillers were for weaklings. I was in no mood for this shit right now. 

"Boss... please... don't pull this with me now. Just take the potion. Please!" I begged.

"...Don't ...want... don't want it..." Boss mumbled. His head lolled to the side and he glanced up at me before letting his skull just drop to the side. He let loose a long, shaky sigh. The usual sinister red glow at the back of his eye sockets was gone. His sockets were completely black now. His breathing was getting shallow and ragged.

"... doesn't hurt anymore..." he gave me a strange, drunken grin. It sent chills down my spine. He was too calm about this. Then I realized:

He was accepting it. 

I flung myself on my knees near the bedside.

"Boss, don't! You can't! You can't let this thing beat you! You're too strong for this, right? You don't care what some ol' one eye'd sawbones says, do you? No way in hell are you gonna die!" I cried. I was trying to appeal to Boss's ego for some reason. I thought maybe if I made him mad he would fight back to prove that he wasn't a wimp or something. Maybe he could beat death by sheer willpower. He just smiled up at me again and slowly let his eye sockets drop closed (something I still don't understand how was possible). 

"BOSS! DON'T YOU DARE!" I screamed. Okay. Now I knew what was going on. All this time he was purposely letting me get attached to him just so he could die and leave me with a broken heart. He really was an evil little bastard! No, I was just being crazy because.... because I didn't want to lose the only friend I had! My mind was reeling with all kinds of desperate, despairing thoughts. I didn't know what to do or say anymore.

"BOSS!" I screamed again. 

Boss's eyes fluttered open and he began muttering again. He was repeating something I couldn't understand.

I broke. Completely and utterly broke. I couldn't stand it anymore and I let out a miserable, keening moan as I started sobbing. 

"Boss... if this is because of me... if it was something I did or didn't do... I'm so sorry! I'll make it up to you! I'll fix it! I swear! Just don't leave me, please! I don't want to go back to ham sandwiches every night! I want you to show me how to make fancy pasta! I don't want to spend Saturdays sleeping in! I want to watch dumb cartoons with you! I don't want to wake up to an empty apartment anymore! You've been such a nasty little shit to me all this time! You've insulted me, called me names, threatened me, broke my stuff, and hurt my feelings more times than I care to count. I ignored it all. All because I love you! Yes, I love you, you little jerk! You can not die on me! I REFUSE to accept this!!" 

I was just rambling insanity at this point. I just wanted him to know that I cared about him in spite of all the nasty things he did to me in the past. My throat was raw from sobbing and my face burned from rubbing tears from my eyes. I'm sure I looked like hell, but I didn't care. 

"Boss, I swear I'll do whatever you want! I'll get the most expensive stuff I can find to make dinners with. I'll let you test your stupid traps on me. Hell, I'll buy you a real throne if that's what it takes!! Just don't die, Boss!" 

If Boss were coherent he would be mocking me for how pathetic I was acting. I didn't care. As long as he stayed with me I didn't care what he did. 

"Please, Boss... just tell me what I have to do. Just tell me what you want..." My throat felt so sore and raw by now that I was sure it would start bleeding soon. I was willing to risk it if I thought my rambling words would spur something inside Boss that made him fight for his life. Over my sobs I became aware that Boss was trying to whisper something to me. I leaned over him to hear him better.

"...want... I want.." He whispered.

"What? What is it!? What do you need me to do!?" I demanded of him. 

"I want..." He started coughing. I reached over and pet his arm with my finger, something I would've been swatted for had he not been so horribly sick. 

"Take your time, Boss." I coaxed him.

"I want Jessica." He stated plainly; his voice soft and tired.

I sat back on my knees and stared at him. In all the time I'd known him, Boss had never, EVER referred to me by my name. I was "Moron", "Simpleton", "Idiot", or "Cretin" but NEVER Jessica. I was utterly stunned. I watched in awe as Boss rolled over and held out a skeletal arm towards me. Oh God. I started bawling again. Well, what Boss wants, Boss gets. I climbed on to the bed, careful not to jostle him and lay down next to him. I reached over and rubbed his little skull, Boss clung to my hand with his arm while I did so. The whole time I was whining and sobbing getting tears and snot and drool all over my pillow. I was too enraptured with holding Boss that I didn't give any thought to how gross I was at that moment. I just wanted to hold him and let him hold me. 

I woke with a start some hours later. I didn't even remember falling asleep. I had grieved myself to exhaustion. I suddenly realized how dark it was in the room. What time was it? I turned to glance at the clock on the nightstand behind me. It was 7:30. Oh my God. I'd been asleep for hours! I switched on the lamp and turned to check on Boss. He was lying flat on his back with his arm draped over his chest and his head turned away from me. I felt a twinge of worry in my heart. I reached over and gently shook him. He didn't budge. 

"Boss. Are you alright?" I asked in a cracking voice. He didn't respond. No! He couldn't be... No, he would be just a pile of dust if that were the case. 

"Boss!" I cried and shook him again. This time he moaned and weakly swatted at me. I sighed quietly. 

"You're killing me, Boss." I muttered, rubbing my face tiredly.

"If I were killing you, Simpleton, you'd be doing a lot more screaming, I assure you." 

My bloodshot eyes widened and I looked over at him. He was grinning up at me; the eerie red light had returned to his eye sockets. 

"I don't think I would ever kill you, though. Or torture you either. You look positively hideous when you cry." He sent me a weak, but clearly mocking sneer. 

I stared at him. Then it sunk in. 

"Shut the fuck up, you evil little shit!" I raged at him. Boss just laughed a rough chuckle. I didn't know if I should be angry with him or smother him in kisses. So I decided to angrily smother him with kisses. Boss hissed and made half-hearted attempts to claw my face off. I just laughed at him. 

"Stop this assault on my majestic personage at once, you moronic female!!!" He shouted, but I could clearly hear the laughter in his voice. After a minute or two, I halted my kiss attack and looked him over. 

"You're okay now, right Boss?" I asked.

"Other than being soaked in your disgusting drool, I am in peak condition." he said while furiously wiping his face. He started to say something else but was hit with a coughing fit. 

"Maybe not peak condition yet, Boss." I said with a knowing smile. 

"Feh!" Boss grouched. "Don't you worry you're empty little head. I will be well soon enough." Boss rested his head on his arms and shot me a devious look. 

"And when I'm well again, you and I will discuss some of those promises you made earlier. Don't you dare think you can weasel your way out of it, either." 

I gulped. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys didn't really think I was going to kill him did you? After this I'll be taking a small break from Boss but don't think you've seen the last of him. Next up is Baby Blue (Underswap Sans). Edgy (Underfell Sans) Bitty is lurking around the corner as well.


	8. Lost and Found (US Sans Meets Horrortale Sans)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Blue (Underswap Sans Bitty) gets separated from his parents in the park. A bad situation gets worse as he's chased by a stray dog and runs into a very large and very scary looking Bitty named Teddy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: While there isn't any violence or death in this chapter, it still contains some fairly dark references. If you are squeamish or grossed out easily, you may want to avoid this chapter. 

EDIT: Holy crap! I screwed up! I totally forgot that Underswap Sans doesn't teleport! I didn't even think about it until  a little while ago. I don't know how to fix this now and I really don't want to have to rewrite the whole chapter. I'll figure something out .... I'm such a derp.

 

Blue was in trouble. Deep, deep trouble! He wasn't sure how it happened but somehow he lost his Mom and Dad in the big park near where they lived. His parents had taken him to see the baby ducks in the little pond in the middle of the park. He was so excited when he saw a group of little fluff balls waddling after their mom that he'd completely forgotten what his own Mom had told him about wandering off. He was a little nervous about approaching the ducklings with the mother nearby but she didn't seem to mind him at all. In fact whenever she and the ducklings began to move, the mother would turn around and start quacking at him to follow. Blue giggled at this. He was exactly the same size as her ducklings so she probably thought he was one of them! 

Eventually, the duck family began making their way towards the pond and he followed after them. He stopped before reaching the pond's edge because he remembered what his Mom told him about not getting too close to the water. When the mother duck notice Blue was no longer following the group she began circling around the little skeleton monster and nudging at him with her bill. 

"Sorry Mrs. Duck," Blue giggled. "I, the great Blue, cannot go with you. I already have a mother, you see." 

The mother duck nuzzled him a moment, then waddled off into the pond. Her ducklings followed after her; each giving Blue a goodbye quack as they waddled by. Blue stood on the shore and watched the duck family swim off into the middle of the pond where they merged with the other duck families. Once they were no longer in sight, Blue made his way back to where he left his own family only to find that they were no longer there. 

Blue was confused. He was certain he left his Mother sitting at the picnic table reading while his Father was putting together some sandwiches they'd brought from home. Surely he hadn't been gone that long. Blue teleported to the top of the picnic table and scanned the area. His parents were nowhere in sight. Actually, there didn't seem to be anyone else in the park either. Panic was settling into Blue's soul. He knew his parents wouldn't have gone home without him. They would never do something like that! But... what if something happened and they had to leave? The thought made him shudder.  It was also getting dark. He remembered the scary stuff Edgy used to tell him back at the adoption center about what could happen to a Bitty that got caught in the dark by themselves. Of course, Edgy was probably just trying to scare him as usual. Edgy was always picking on him back then. Blue puffed himself up a bit in an attempt to look brave... not that he believed any of the terrible things Edgy said, but he wanted to look big and tough... just in case. 

Suddenly an idea occured to him. What if his parents forgot something and they were just going to the car to get it? Blue teleported himself off of the table and started running towards the parking lot. Mabye he could get there in time and his parents would never suspect that he'd been missing at all. He really didn't want to get into trouble after all. Father had told him that he would revoke his TV privilages if he wandered off alone and....

A dark shape abruptly lurched out of the gloom, blocking his way. Blue skidded to a halt before he collided with the figure. He looked up to see a large brown dog standing there looking down at him. The animal was dirty, smelly, and had no collar. One of it's ears was missing. Clearly it was a stray. Blue's eyes sparkled. He may be lost but at least now he wouldn't be alone!

"Greetings canine friend!" He chirped happily. "It seems that you are lost as well! Fear not! For I, the Magnificinet Blue, will aid you in finding... 

The dog didn't seem to be as thrilled with Blue as Blue was with it. Blue's happy speech was cut short when the dog snapped at him. Blue pulled away just in time to avoid being crunched up by the animal's teeth. Blue gave the animal a shocked look before turning stern.

"I must ask you to refrain from treating me like a chew toy, dog friend." Blue scolded while waving a skeletal finger at the much larger animal.

The dog cocked it's head to one side giving Blue a "Are you kidding me?" look before lunging at him. Blue yelped and began running back towards the park. The dog gave chase, barking and snapping. Blue teleported a few times during the chase but no matter what the dog would always catch up to him. He just couldn't seem to outrun the dumb mongrel.

"I do not have time to play, you stupid dog!" Blue shouted.

Suddenly, Blue felt teeth nipping at his neck and back. He found himself being lifted up into the air and tossed about in wild, jerking motions. The dog had picked him up by his little blue scarf and was shaking him as if he really were a chew toy. He heard something rip and he squealed as he found himself twisting through the air. He was only air born for a moment before slamming into the ground and rolling into an grimy alley way. He lay there, dizzy and disoriented, while the dog approached, growling.

Blue shook off his dizziness and sat up. He gasped when he saw the state of his poor scarf. "Bad dog! You play too roughly! Now my scarf is torn and Mother will be so upset!" 

It was then that Blue noticed the dog approaching and the furious expression on its face. 

"This is no way to treat your friends!" Blue shouted, trying to mask the fear creeping into his voice. "Please don't force me to use drastic defensive measures! I have no wish to harm you!"

The dog paid no mind to his pleas and just got closer. 

"I'm sorry, my canine friend, but I warned you. Now you leave me no choice!" 

Blue attempted to conjure up a group of magical bones but he was exhausted from all the running and teleporting he'd done and only managed to conjure a single tiny bone. He tossed it at the snarling beast only to have it bounce harmlessly off the dog's snout. The attack only made the animal angrier and it rushed at Blue with every intent to tear him to pieces. Blue used what little energy he had to teleport himself behind a stack of bent and rusty trash cans. He crawled inside of an old tin bean can and closed the lid. He listened while the dog began scratching and sniffing around in search of him. 

After a few moments the banging and scraping stopped and the dog began barking and snarling. Blue couldn't understand why the animal was doing that until he heard another much deeper sounding growl over all the noise the dog was making. Blue ducked further into his hiding spot; large eyes filled with fear. He thought maybe another dog was in the alley but that didn't sound like any dog. Even the biggest monsters he knew didn't have a growl like that! 

There was the sound of a fight and he could hear the dog whining and yelping. Blue cautiously peeked out of the can just in time to see the dog running out of the alley as if every bad thing in the world where chasing after it. He was relieved but only slightly. Whatever had made that scary growl was still in the alley with him. 

Blue ducked back into the can as quickly and quietly as possible. Heavy sounding footsteps where thudding around the alley nearby. They didn't sound heavy enough to belong to a big person but they still sounded pretty big... big enough to hurt him very badly if whoever they belonged to found him. There was more clanging and clinking sounds, making Blue think that whatever was in the alley with him was moving things about and pushing things aside. Blue's eye sockets went black with terror as the awful realization hit him. It was looking for him! It knew he was there!

Eventually the footsteps began to make their way towards his hiding place. Once they were right in front of the tin can they stopped. Blue froze. He held his breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He tried to tell himself that there was no way the person knew he was there. A moment passed. It was as quiet as a tomb in the alley way now. Another moment passed. Blue let out a slow, shaky breath and flinched. It was soft but just loud enough to be audible. Whoever was outside started moving again. Their footsteps seemed to take a few steps away from the can. Blue almost began to relax when he felt the can shake. He could feel that he was being lifted into the air! The can began to shake rapidly and the lid popped open. Blue tumbled out onto the ground next to a very large pair of dirty, threadbare sneakers.

The tin can was tossed to the ground next him. He cringed at the sound it made. Blue cast a fearful glance upwards to see the biggest, scariest looking Bitty he'd ever seen looming over him. He had to be as tall as his father's knee! No wonder the dog ran away in terror! The Bitty's skull had a low brow like a caveman under which were a pair of cruel looking eye sockets. The small, glowing lights that served as the Bitty's pupils were locked on Blue's fearful, star shaped ones. The thing that really frightened Blue the most were the other Bitty's teeth. His lower jaw jutted out like a bull dog's showing off two sharp, curved tusks. The rest of the Bitty's teeth were just as sharp and stained red with something that Blue just knew wasn't ketchup. Blue only needed a single glance at the Bitty's ragged clothes and threatening appearance to know that the Bitty was a Feral... and that he was in serious trouble.

Blue took a few moments to mentally calm himself. Even in dire situations such as this, Blue wanted to remain optimistic. He wanted to believe that there was a chance that he could come out of this unscathed. But he was so tired! That stupid mutt had caused him to use up so much magic that he was sure he wouldn't be able to properly defend himself. Nevertheless, Blue thought to himself, I'm one of the good guys and the good guys never show fear in the face of evil!

Blue rose to his feet and struck what he thought was a heroic pose. It would've looked impressive if not for the fact that he was trembling so hard his bones were actually making clacking sounds. He pointed a shakey finger bone at the Feral's face. 

"S-stand d-d-down v-villain!" He stuttered out in a small, trembling voice. "I-I warn y-you! I w-will not g-go down without a f-fight!" 

At this the Feral let out a growl so loud all the trash cans in the alley way tipped over, spilling their garbage onto the already filthy ground. Blue yelped and fell onto his backside. The Feral snorted in amusement at Blue's reaction. 

"S'matter, Junior? Ya seem a little rattled!" The Feral mocked him. He then let out a deep belly laugh. 

The Feral's voice was so low and menacing and Blue couldn't stop himself from trembling more. The Feral wiped a tear of laughter from his eye socket, then looked back at Blue. His face contorted into one of pure malice and he swiped a large, clawed hand at Blue's face. Blue flinched, but the agonizing pain he was expecting never came. Blue looked up at the Feral. He was clenching something in his hand. Blue gave the Feral a questioning look. The Feral held his closed hand in front of Blue's face and opened it to reveal nothing.

"Got yer nose!" The Feral said with a wicked grin and laughed again, clutching his sides as if it were the funniest thing ever.

Blue blinked. He blinked again. Then once more. 

"ARE YOU SERIOUS!!!??" Blue shouted at the top of his lungs. "IT'S BAD ENOUGH THAT YOU'RE GOING TO EAT ME BUT DO YOU HAVE TO MAKE STUPID JOKES, TOO? I DON'T EVEN HAVE A NOSE!"

Blue's outburst only caused the Feral to laugh more. Blue fumed while the Feral just laughed at him. Eventually the Feral stopped laughing and straightened up.

"Take it easy, kid. I'm just screwing with ya." The Feral said with a grin. "I'm not going ta eat ya, either. You'd barely make a mouthful... and yer all bones." The Feral snorted and Blue gave him an irritated glare. 

"Besides," The Feral said, his voice turning menacing again, "I already ate." 

The Feral turned and spat something onto the ground. Blue pulled away in repulsion when he saw that it was a rat's tale. 

"Ugh... I'm gonna lose my tacos..." Blue said with a slight gag. 

The Feral just chuckled.

"Name's Teddy." The Feral introduced himself.  "Yeah, like a teddy bear." He added with a slight eyeroll.

Blue gave the Feral another once over. There was certainly nothing cuddly about him, so how he earned the name "Teddy" Blue would never know. But for the sake of manners, Blue decided to introduce himself as well.

"I am the Amazing Blue!" He said with a smile. He left out the part about his full name actually being "Baby Blue" as he really didn't want to give Teddy yet another thing to tease him about. He wasn't sure of what to think of Teddy either. One minute he was being all scary and evil, the next he was acting like an annoying older brother. Before Blue could question him on the matter, Teddy spoke again.

"Look, kid, it's been fun and all, but you really need ta get outta here." Teddy said, suddenly serious. "I won't hurt you, but if my brother finds you..."

At that very moment a loud, furious sounding voice echoed through the alley.

"TEDDY! WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? YOU KNOW I HATE IT WHEN YOU WANDER OFF! AND WHAT WAS ALL THAT RACKET EARLIER!?" 

Blue cringed at the sound of it and even Teddy looked horrified. Suddenly, Teddy grabbed Blue into his arms as if he were a child and teleported. Right before they disappeared Blue caught the glimpse of something black and spider-like slinking out from behind a trash can. When they reappeared they were on top of a picnic table in the park. 

"That was close." Teddy muttered under his breath. 

Blue didn't say anything. He wasn't exactly sure, but he felt as if Teddy may have just saved his life. Just at that moment, a familiar voice called his name. Blue looked over to see two figures with flashlights rushing over to him. When he saw their faces he beamed.

"MOTHER! FATHER!" he shouted happily. 

Teddy looked over at him and gave him a quick wave. 

"Later, Baby Bones. Take care of yerself." he said and dissappeared. 

Only a second later, Blue was swept up into his parent's arms. (They apparently hadn't seen Teddy, or else they would have remarked on it.) Naturally they were upset with him for wandering off but they didn't seem angry. If anything, they were relieved to the point of tears. Blue felt awful for worrying them and told them how sorry he was. His father said that while he wasn't going to be punished he was still in for a stern talking to when he got home. His mother merely nagged him about how dirty he was. 

Once home, Blue told his parents about how he'd been playing with the ducks and got lost. He then told them about being chased by the dog. He purposely left out the part about his meeting Teddy. His parents had already been terrified that he'd gone missing, he wasn't about to tell them that he'd met a Feral. Later, his mother cleaned him up, gave him dinner, then put him to bed.

In spite of how exhausted he was, Blue couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about Teddy. Blue was very confused. Weren't the Ferals the bad guys? Teddy picked on him and terrorized him a bit, but he didn't do anything to really hurt him. Weren't Ferals all supposed to be raving lunatics that would kill you as soon as lay eyes on you? Why did Teddy teleport him away when his brother showed up? Why would he care if his brother killed him? All these things made Blue wonder if maybe some of the things Edgy had told him about Ferals weren't all true. 

Blue sat up in his little police car bed and stared out the window. He wondered where Teddy was right now. Would Teddy have a warm, safe place to sleep tonight? Probably not. Blue frowned when he thought of this. Why was it like this? It wasn't fair. Why did some Bittys get loving families to take care of them while other Bittys had to rough it in the dirty alley ways and abandoned buildings? Everyone was afraid of the Ferals because they hurt people and stole things, but didn't they deserve a second chance? It wasn't their fault that they were born in such deplorable conditions. Blue knew that tomorrow morning he would get to eat his fill of the breakfast burritos his mother would make for him. It may be days before Teddy finds food again.

Blue flung himself backwards on his bed. He had to stop thinking like that! Worrying and fretting never helped anyone! Now was the time for planning! Blue knew that by himself he wouldn't be much help, but if he could get more Bittys involved in this then maybe some big people would get involved to. There was such a stigma directed against the Ferals that Blue knew what he had planned would be very hard. It would be well worth it in the end, though! Blue smiled. Tomorrow he was going to have a talk with a friend of his. Blue finally let his eyes droop closed and began dreaming of all the ways he could help his new friend.


	9. The Intruder (Underfell Papyrus Part 6)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boss is feeling better but something strange is going on around the apartment. Food and various other items are disappearing and Boss may have an idea as to who or what is behind it.

It was a miracle. When I took Boss back to the doctor for another examination the cyclops was just as befuddled by Boss's recovery as I was. 

"I've never seen a Bitty come back from the brink of death so quickly!" he said. "Boss's soul seemed damaged beyond repair. Now it seems as if it may be healing itself. Though that should be impossible, unless... Miss Jessica, are you familiar with the concept of DETERMINATION?"

I scratched the back of my head.

"Sort of." I told him.

The doctor began explaining some things about the difference between a monster's soul and a human's soul and a few other things that I didn't fully understand. He explained that DETERMINATION was a power that only a few humans had. It could apparently work miracles, but very little was known about it. The doctor felt that I may actually be one of the few humans that possessed DETERMINATION. His theory was that my love for Boss (real love, not that horrible Level Of ViolencE stuff) coupled with my DETERMINATION could have had a healing effect on Boss's soul. It was all very complicated. Boss, however, was convinced that he his feirce desire to stay by my side had been so strong it had somehow frightened off death itself. He was such a little egomaniac but I loved him anyway.

In the end, I didn't really care what had saved Boss. I was just overjoyed that he was still alive and kickng! The doctor told me that while the worst was over, Boss had still not fully recovered. Boss protested this of course. Still the doctor insisted that Boss rest up for a few weeks. Boss was not happy about that at all, but I did what the doctor told me to and kept Boss in bed for at least 3 weeks. Boss complained the whole time but quieted down a little bit when I moved him from his coffin bed to a comfy spot on my pillow next to my head. He hated being bedridden and spent most of the time demanding to be entertained. I spent as much time with him as I could. When I wasn't working I was sitting and talking with him, playing games, and helping him put together puzzles. I bought him some books to keep him occupied while I was working. At last the 3 weeks were up and Boss was allowed out of bed. 

The near death incident had brought us so much closer. While Boss was still a pain in the butt, he was a lot more respectful towards me. He never did call me by my name again though, a fact I was a little disappointed with, but I never complained. Boss was a lot more clingy than before, too. While he preferred sleeping in his own bed, there were occasions where he would wake me up by climbing into bed with me. He would also cling to me in his sleep and once or twice I woke up to find him latched onto my head like a facehugger! He would always have some excuse as to why he did this of course. 

"It was cold." he would say, never mind that it would be in the middle of the summer and the nights were so hot I'd be sleeping with no covers.   
Boss insisted that it was because he had no skin to keep him warm. The little snuggle bug wasn't fooling me one bit! I never teased him about it, no matter how much I wanted too. 

Just when things were beginning to settle down, I noticed something odd. One night while I was getting ready to cook dinner with Boss I discovered that the pantry was missing a few cans of food. I asked Boss about it but he just shrugged and said that I possibly forgot to pick those items up while shopping. But I was sure that wasn't the case. I just knew that I was missing two cans of chili and at least one can of tuna. Boss suggested that maybe there was a rat in the apartment. I quickly disagreed. I told him that the apartment we lived in was one of the best in San Antonio and they were very strict on pest control. I hadn't seen so much as a single roach or any other sort of pest since I moved in. 

"Besides, I don' think a rat would carry off a whole can of chili anyway." I told him.

We forgot about the whole affair until some days later. I woke up to find the refrigerator door was open just a tiny bit. I examined the inside and noticed that I was indeed missing a few items. I discussed the matter with Boss and we decided to search the apartment to see if anything else was amiss. As it turns out, it wasn't just food that was disappearing. I was missing various small items that I would have overlooked such as a thimble from my sewing kit. Boss was also missing some things. Some of his clothes had disappeared as well as one of his blankets. I was totally confused and more than a little bit worried. Who or what could be getting into my apartment? How were they getting in? Why were they taking our food and personal items? This whole situation was freaking me out just a bit as I couldn't help but think about that horror movie I'd seen where a family discovered that a psychotic serial killer had been living in the walls of their house. I knew that wasn't possible in this case though. There wasn't enough space between the walls for a person to fit and surely some of the other people living in the building would have said something by now. Was it just my apartment that was being targeted?

The affair had caused Boss to go into full guardian mode. This was a side of him I'd never seen before and it was a little scary. Boss refused to let me out of his sight and followed me around the apartment. I actually had to insist that he let me go to the bathroom alone. 

"Fine, you may go alone," he told me, "but if anything happens, and I mean ANYTHING, call on me immediantly! Is that understood?"

"Sure, Boss. I don't see why you're hovering so much though." I said.

"Just do as I say!" he bellowed. 

Once I convinced Boss to let me go to the bathroom alone I did my business and got into the shower. It had been a long day and I just wanted a hot shower to ease my mind and help me think. I just couldn't figure out what was going on. I strongly felt that Boss knew what was happening but when I asked him all he would say is that it was something I shouldn't worry about. Yet if I wasn't supposed to worry why was he following me around? He told me he wanted to set traps around the house. I wasn't too keen on the idea as I knew how dangerous some of his traps were. It wasn't just because I didn't want to kill the intruder (whatever it was), I was also worried about accidentally walking into one of them myself.

I got out of the shower and put on my comfy T shirt. I was in the middle of drying my hair when I was startled by the sound of glass breaking and Boss screaming that he was going to put someone's head on a pike. I tore out of the bathroom and ran into the kitchen. The refrigerator door was wide open and a jar of pickles was smashed open on the floor. Boss was standing near a wall socket fuming and bellowing all manner of terrible threats. 

"What happened!? Boss, are you alright!?" I asked, rushing to his side.

"Of course I'm alright!" he thundered. "But that filthy hellspawn has evaded capture! If you had let me set traps this wouldn't have happened!" 

"What? What filthy hellspawn? Who are you talking about?" I asked, completely perplexed.

Boss smacked his palm to his face. 

"Are all humans as dense as you!?" he asked. 

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. 

"Sorry, Boss. I was in the bathroom so I'm afraid I missed out on all the fun. Mind telling me what happened?" I said.

"I'll simplify it for you, Dimwit." Boss growled, clearly annoyed that he'd lost his intended victim. "I'll just say that our theif decided to make an appearence."

"Really? What was it?" I asked, fully intrigued.

'Not a "what", a "who"' Boss explained. 

He walked over to the wall socket and pushed it aside to reveal a kind of tunnel that lead to who knows where. 

"This is where the worthless vermin was hiding." he said. "I don't know how or why he followed us, but if he shows his thieving face around here again I will end him in the most agonizing way possible!"

"Followed us?" I asked, probably sounding as dumb as Boss thought I was. "Boss, who are you talking about?" 

Boss chuckled at my confusion. 

"Don't you see, my incredibly simple-minded friend?" he said with a sneer. "You and I have met this thief before." 

Boss then pointed to a half empty bottle of mustard that lay near the shattered jar of pickles.


	10. The Unholy Terror (UF Papyrus and UF Sans)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boss and Jessica manage to capture the intruder, but he proves to be more trouble than expected!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: Okay, so I didn't make it too hard to figure out who our little thief was. I'm just as excited as you guys to finally have him in the story! There are some things I want to point out before I start the story. Because of the way this AU is set up, none of the Bitties are actually related to each other. Siblingship is something that happens when two Bitties are either adopted into the same household or simply decide to claim one another as siblings. So Boss and Edgy are not brothers like they are in Underfell. Also, I like to write the Underfell duo a bit differently than other fanfic writers usually do. I don't like the idea of Papyrus being abusive. So don't expect that here. Sure he'll be mean and make threats, but he will never be outright abusive. An occasional clonk on the noggin or mental terrorizing is as far as he'll really ever go. I also don't like how many fanfic writers lately have been depicting UF Sans as a total wimp whenever Papyrus is concerned. While Sans will still be afraid of Papyrus, he won't be a pushover about it. He'll get the nerve to smart off at him ever so often. While in the regular Underfell AU, Papyrus is the younger brother but in the Bitty Bones AU their ages are never discussed. For the sake of this story, Boss will be older than Edgy. Let's get on with the chapter!
> 
> NOTE 2: I just happen to be snacking on pretzels and mustard while writing this. Seemed appropriate. 

So the little Edgy Bitty from the Adoption Center had followed us all the way back to the apartment? How? Why? I didn't know what to think. Boss was convinced that it was because the "hellspawn" just wanted to cause trouble. 

"It seems to be his specialty." Boss had said, his facial bones contorting into a look of disgust. 

I really wanted to point out all the stuff Boss had done (and still does) to cause trouble, but for the sake of my health, I thought better of it. Besides, even the people at the center agreed that in spite of his nasty attitude and anger issues, Boss was a perfect angel compared to any Edgy Bitty. I tried to imagine Boss with a halo, white robe, and a gentle expression. The image I conjured in my head was too stupid and cartoonish for me to handle and I started laughing. Boss gave me a weird look.

"You often burst into ridiculous cackling for no reason at all." he said. "I'm beginning to worry about the state of your mental health." 

I grinned at him. 

"Aw, gee Boss. Are ya worried 'bout little ol' me?" I teased him. He snarled.

"Naturally I'd be worried about your mental health!" he blustered, trying very hard to ignore the blush that exploded across his face. "If you are going insane you will no longer be an accurate caretaker for one as amazing as myself!" He humphed and stuck his non-existant nose in the air.

"Besides this is no laughing matter!" he said after his blush started to fade. "We must flush out the enemy, capture him, and dispose of him!" 

Boss was sure seemed to be leaning towards the idea of killing the intruder. I doubted he had any real intentions to do so though. Most likely he was saying that stuff in hopes the other Bitty would hear and be terrified. (At least I hoped so.) Still, I didn't want to take a chance he might do something that led to the other Bitty accidentally getting killed somehow. 

"About that," I started. "Do you think we could come up with a plan that doesn't involve... you know... murdering people?" 

Boss looked offended. 

"It's not murder! Are you implying that defending our home, possessions, and possibly our well being is some kind of crime?" he demanded.

"No! I just... don't want to hurt the little guy." I said lamely.

Boss scoffed. 

"You and your pathetic mercy." he said in a derisive tone. "Very well, I shall concoct a device that will merely capture our enemy, but I would be interested to know what you plan to do once we've captured him."

I thought for a moment. 

"Uh... we'll deal with that later. Let's just get him out of the walls first." I said.

Boss sighed in annoyance.

"It's quite clear you have no idea who you are dealing with!" he growled, waving his arms around in frustration. "This is not some playful Bitty child, you fool! This is an Edgy! While they are not intelligent, they are slippery! They are extremely distructive and will not hesitate to attack you!" 

Now it was my turn to scoff. 

"Come on, Boss. Don't you think that's a bit of an exaggeration?" I said with a small smile.

Boss slapped his forehead and shot the heavens a pleading look. 

"It amazes me that your brain produces enough power to get your lips moving so that you may utter such dull-witted prattle!!" He grouched at me. "Once I've captured the Edgy, he will be totally your responsibility. That is the reward for your stupidity! No matter what, I will not lift a finger bone to help you!" 

Uh oh. I said the wrong thing again and now he's pouting.  Ah well, I still didn't think the Edgy would be as bad as everyone said. I remembered that Tina had said that Edgy was indeed a troublemaker but I also remembered that she said that he and Boss never got along anyway. Actually neither of them seemed to get along with many of the other Bitties either...

"That's fine, Boss. I can handle it." I said with confidence. 

"Overconfident, empty-headed, woman!" he grumbled. 

Within an hour Boss had built some kind of scary looking contraption around the wall socket. It looked needlessly complicated and I'm not sure I can describe it accurately. It had some wooden pieces with some string... then there was an empty candy jar... and some metal doohickeys that were strapped to this thingamabob... nope, can't even begin to describe it. I'll just say that it was some kind of Rube Goldburg-ish monstrosity that looked awfully deadly to be something that would "merely capture our enemy". 

"Boss, are you sure this thing won't decapitate him or something?" I asked worriedly.

"Do you doubt my trap making abilities!? Do you think me incapable of restraining myself!?" he asked in a huffy tone. 

"Whoa, easy! I trust you. It's just... that whatchamacallit looks kinda... pointy." I said, noting all the sharp metal bits built into it.

"Oh, well, perhaps you'd prefer if I'd made it out of rose petals and fairy wings!" he said in a high pitched, prissy voice. "I suppose I should add a cozy blanket and some freshly baked cookies should he get hungry! Then we can all get together and frolic in the meadow and braid each other's hair!" 

He did a little girly skipping motion that caused me to completely lose it. I collapsed on the kitchen floor, laughing so hard I was starting to snort like an angry pig.

 "Boss, you're killing me here!" I said once I caught my breath. 

Boss, who had been glaring at me throughout my laughing fit, crossed his arms. 

"Are you quite finished, Simpleton?" he asked. "I'm very glad you're so amused by all this, but do not forget what I told you. Once the Edgy has been captured, you and you alone are responsible for him." 

"Sorry, Boss. I'll take things a bit more seriously from now on." I said, wiping the tears of laughter from my face. 

"I highly doubt that." Boss said dryly.

At bedtime, Boss didn't even bother going to his coffin bed. He went to my bed straight away and climbed up to sit next to my head. He sat with his long legs curled under him and his arms folded over his ribs. He looked like a tight wad of stress and grumpiness. He seemed upset. Maybe I'd hurt his feelings? For a guy that prided himself on being an evil monster, he was awfully sensitive sometimes. 

"Boss, you seem a little off. Are you mad at me or something?" I asked him. 

He let loose a very sad sounding sigh. 

"No, I am not angry at all. I am simply annoyed that I must be bothered with rounding up stray Bitties. Those nimrods at the Center have no concept of security or escape prevention methods!" he complained.

I reached over and patted a finger against his little spine in a comforting motion. He smiled slightly, but let it drop off his face once he realized I was looking at him. I was sure glad we got passed that whole "no touching" thing, because what I did next would've gotten a table thrown at me for sure. I sat up and scooped him up in my arms, cradling him like a baby. He squirmed and turned blood red from the top of his skull to the tip of his toe bones. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? UNHAND ME, YOU IMBECILE!! I'LL TEAR YOUR INFERNAL ARMS OFF!!!" 

Okay, so we weren't completely passed the "no touching" thing, but at least now he would let me cuddle him with no more than a few insults and empty threats. It's a good thing too, because he looked too damn cute in his little Cobra Commander PJs and I couldn't resist!

"This is for your own good!" I said with a sly grin. 

"What? What are you blabbering about? I said put me down!" he grouched.

"Come on, Boss. I know you. You'll want to stay up all night and stand guard. I can't letcha do that!" I said in a purposely obnoxious voice. 

"You dare decide what I do and don't do!?" he shouted and tried to squeeze out of my arms.

"Now now!" I chirped. "You've been working hard all day. As your caretaker it's my responsibility to make sure you're nice an' comfy for a good night's sleep!" 

I flopped backwards on the bed and cuddled Boss to my chest. He blurted out some growls and flustered almost-insults before finally giving up and settling down. I pat his little skull and closed my eyes. I was almost dozing when Boss spoke up again.

"Must you hold me so close to your... your... chest area?" he stuttered. 

"You mean my boobs?" I asked him with false innocence. Frankly I hadn't really thought about it when I cuddled him to my chest, but it wasn't like I had his face shoved in between them or anything. 

"Don't just blurt things out like that, you crass cave woman!" he roared. 

I almost giggled. I think I'd discovered Boss's weakness!

"My girls are very well behaved, I'll have you know. They know when to bite and when not to." I said with a weird smile. 

"OH MY GOD!" he cried. "STOP SAYING THOSE WEIRD, PERVERTED THINGS!"

Oh yes, I was going to have so much fun teasing him now. I swore I could feel him grow a few degrees hotter. 

"I'm just messing with ya, Boss." I said with a giggle. "Good night." 

I reached over to turn off the lamp. 

"Feh! Good night, indeed!" he grumbled. 

With that, the two of us fell asleep. It felt like I had only been asleep for a moment when a loud alarm sound jolted me out of dream land. Boss was out of bed and running for the kitchen before I could even pull the covers off of myself. I groggily followed after him to see what all the commotion was about. I found him standing by his trap laughing triumphantly. There was a loudly ringing bell on top of the trap. 

"So that's what that stupid alarm sound was." I said.

"It was designed to tell us when the trap had been sprung," Boss explained, looking extra pleased with himself. "We've got the insufferable little fiend right where we want him." 

"That's great, Boss." I said with a yawn. "Would you turn that alarm off now?" 

"It will turn off when YOU remove the prisoner from the trap." Boss stated, still smiling smugly. "Or had you forgotten what I told you earlier?"

I groaned. Oh yeah, I did say that I would handle it. Although I would like to point out that he was actually the one that made that decision and by no means did he ever mention having to do this in the middle of the night. Whatever. I was going to prove that he and everyone else was overreacting about this. It was more likely that this Edgy Bitty was just a badly behaved brat with a bad attitude and not the demon spawn everyone said he was.   
Cautiously I approached the trap. I could see something moving inside of the candy jar and assumed that this must be were the Bitty was imprisoned. It took me a moment to figure out how to get access the trap. Once I figured out how to open it I gingerly reached into the candy jar to grasp the Bitty.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Boss stated in a warning tone.

"Have a little faith in me, will ya." I said. 

I managed to wrap my fingers around the squirming Bitty and pulled him out of the trap. 

"I've gotcha little guy." I cooed soothingly. "You poor thing! I'll bet you're scared to death!" 

Just as I said those words I felt a red hot stabbing pain in my hand as if someone had just driven a bunch of razor blades into my flesh. I shrieked and lost my grip on the Bitty. He dropped towards the ground, but instead of landing on the floor like I was afraid he would, the Bitty vanished in a flash of red and reappeared on top of the kitchen counter. I looked at my injured hand to see a row of deep tooth marks in an especially tender part of my hand. 

"Oh yeah," I said in a pain-filled voice. "I forgot you guys bite." 

Boss made a noise of exasperation at that. I looked over to where the Edgy was standing. He looked like a typical Edgy with his gold tooth, spiked color, and angry expression. He wasn't dressed like a typical Edgy however. Instead of the usual black and red hooded jacket he was wearing a long trench coat I recognized as one I had bought for Boss. It was way too big for him though. It pooled around his dirty red sneakers and the sleeves all but swallowed up his small hands. I would have thought him to be adorable if he hadn't been wiping my blood from his mouth at that moment.

"Keep your hands to yourself, bitch." he said in a growling voice that was much deeper than what I expected.

I stared in shock. As much as Boss insulted me, he was at least respectful enough not to swear at me. He also never BIT me either! 

"Is that my coat!?" Boss thundered. "You little thief!" 

The Bitty seemed to finally notice Boss and cringed slightly at the sound of his voice, but quickly straightened up and put on a mischievous grin. 

He looked Boss over a moment before saying, "Heya. Nice jammies there, Batman."

Boss looked like he was going to explode but kept his temper admirably. I stood idly by not really knowing what to do now. The Bitty turned his gaze back to me and grinned menacingly.

"Wanna see a magic trick?" he asked. 

I blinked, confused by his sudden friendly tone. 

"Uh... sure..." I said.

I watched mesmerized as he formed a glowing red bone out of thin air. It was roughly the same size as himself. He motioned for me to get closer and I leaned down to see what he was going to do. I wasn't at all prepared for what happened next but I probably should have been. The Edgy waved his arm and the bone levitated before shooting through the air and slamming into my face. 

"Alakazam, Bitch!" he said and laughed cruelly. 

I reeled back in agony, clutching at my injured face.  It felt just like a huge fist had smashed into my eye! I noticed a bright red glow out of the corner of my uninjured eye. I looked up to see the Edgy holding his arm out to the now glowing kitchen cabinets. He shot me another evil grin and waved his arm. The cabinet doors flew open and I found myself bombarded with plates, cups, glasses and any other item that happened to be in my cabinets at the time. I ran over to the kitchen table and flipped it onto it's side. I grabbed Boss and ducked behind the makeshift shield. I glanced at Boss who seemed strangely calm throughout the attack. I was startled by the blade of a kitchen knife slamming through the table only inches from my head. Boss wasn't affected at all. He even had the nerve to yawn and stretch as if he were a veteran dad waiting for a toddler to tire himself out during a temper tantrum. 

Ignoring Boss's uncaring attitude I grabbed a wooden spoon that had been lying on the floor and wrapped a shredded white dish towel around it. I poked the spoon up from behind the table as a makeshift white flag. 

"I surrender! Truce!" I cried.

The only answer I got was a mean-spirited laugh and to have the "flag" knocked out of my hand by a magical red bone. I glanced over at Boss with a pleading expression. He looked up at me expectantly. 

"I could bring this madness to a end, but you kept saying that you could handle it." he said crossing his arms. "You said I was exaggerating about his behavior." 

I groaned. 

"I was wrong, I admit it. I was so very wrong!" I whimpered. "Boss, could you please, please, please, please, please, PLEASE make him stop?" 

"Very well, but I'll add it to the list of things you owe me for." he said with a knowing smirk. "You still haven't gotten me that throne you promised." 

He was seriously never going to let that slide. 

With amazing agility that I'd never seen him use before, Boss leaped out from behind the table and took on a fighting stance. The Edgy grew wide eyed and stopped his assault immediately. 

"Uh... look, if this is about that crack about your PJs... they really are kinda cool, ya know..." The Edgy said as he held up his hands in surrender. 

Boss didn't seem too impressed with his attempt to redeem himself. 

'They are not "PJs" or "Jammies"!!" Boss shouted indignantly. "They are strategic sleeping gear! Furthermore, I believe I've warned you before about that infernal nickname..." Boss's face took on a truly sinister appearance.

The Edgy Bitty panicked but before he could do anything, Boss held out his hand and the Bitty froze. A little blue, upside-down heart appeared on his chest and he suddenly fell over onto his face as if something had yanked him to the ground. He let forth a string of curses and kicked his legs in an attempt to get back up.

"Lay offa me, ya big jerk!! LEMME GO!!" he bellowed.

Boss ignored him and looked up at me. 

"Go get my carrier." he said with a commanding tone. I rushed over to the storage closet and yanked out the carrier. I ran over to the struggling Bitty and opened the carrier door. Reluctantly, I reached down and grabbed the Bitty... who instantly sank his teeth into my finger. 

"OW! DAMMIT! OW!!" I shrieked and tossed the furious Bitty into the carrier. 

The Edgy was back on his feet in moments. He gripped the bars of the carrier's door and barred his teeth at me.   
   
"Fuckin' bitch!" he roared. 

I just gave him a weary expression, too tired and in pain to really care about his insults. I was just glad that carrier was magic proof. 

"You're a mean little dude, huh?" I commented. 

This only got me called more derogatory names but I ignored him. Boss approached me, looking triumphant. I sighed and sank to the floor in relief that it was all over. My face felt like a giant bruise and I was covered in bite marks and cuts. My sleep shirt looked like someone had fed it to a blender. 

"Go get yourself cleaned up." Boss ordered. "I'm going to interrogate our prisoner."

I shot him an uncomfortable look. 

"No torture, Boss." I warned.

Boss just looked up at me and shook his head. 

"It won't be necessary. He will tell me exactly what I need to know." 

With that he glared at the Edgy Bitty who gulped and scooted as far to the back of the carrier as he could get.   
I just groaned in misery. Who knew such a tiny little guy could be so destructive.... or bite so damn hard!?


	11. Bitty Brawl (UF Pap and UF Sans pt. 7)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tempers flare as Boss and Edgy get into a fight while Jessica tries to get some work done and stay sane at the same time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it has taken so long to get the next chapter out. I've been battling video game addictions and a recent technical issue with my laptop. For some reason it only let's me look at a few select sites such as YouTube and Wattpad. Every other site takes me to a "took too long to load" error page. With Quotev, I could get messages, look at comments, and reply to comments but nothing else. Then today the problem seems to have fixed itself. I have no idea what the problem was or how it just magically fixed itself. Also, this is another chapter that's been giving me headaches. Don't know why it was so hard to write, it just was... Anyway, on with the story.

I practically dragged myself to the bathroom. The adrenaline from the encounter had worn off. That plus the fact that I was missing sleep caused me to crash mentally and physically. My legs were actually shaking a bit as I stood in front of the bathroom mirror. I cringed when I looked at my face. My hurt eye was bloodshot and the skin around it was a not-so-lovely purple color. Great. Now everyone was going to think I had an abusive boyfriend or something. I groaned and opened up the medicine cabinet. I grabbed some Band-Aids and Neosporin. I doctored myself up to the best of my abilities. I still looked like I'd been in a bar brawl and lost. I was thinking about what should be done with my eye when the bathroom door opened. Boss stepped in, looking a bit annoyed.

"It was exactly as I thought," he said. "The little pest saw an opportunity to make someone else's life miserable and took it. I doubt those peons at the center even know he's missing."

I let out an exhausted sigh. "We'll deal with it tomorrow, Boss. I really need to get to bed."

Boss nodded. "First you need to do something with that eye. At this rate it will be swollen closed by morning. Here, put this on it. It will stop the swelling." Then Boss handed me an ice pack that he'd retrieved from the freezer.

I really, really, really wanted to tease Boss for how sweet he was being but I was too tired and in pain to think of anything witty to say. Furthermore I didn't want to deal with Boss's yelling right now. My poor ears were still ringing with the sounds of breaking dinnerware. So I just thanked him, strapped the ice pack to my black eye, and dragged myself to bed. I flopped onto the soothingly soft mattress and fell asleep almost instantly.

I awoke to the sound of Boss's abrasive tones. It wouldn't be the first time he woke me up screaming at the top of his lungs about something. I knew there was no point in trying to go back to sleep so I reluctantly rolled off the bed and lay on the floor for a moment or two. The bedroom rug was so comfy that I almost fell back asleep but I was yanked out of dreamland by another bout of Boss's yelling. I pounded the floor with my fist in frustration but instantly regretted it as pain shot through my arm. Oh yeah, I'd actually forgotten about last night's ordeal. I looked down at my scratched up arm and chewed up hands and groaned. How in all that was holy was I going to explain this when I went into work on Monday? Was I really going to have to tell people that I got attacked by a runaway Bitty? Another bout of yelling startled me. Okay what the hell was going on in there?

I hobbled to the kitchen as quickly as my sore legs would allow. I almost fell over when I saw how clean the kitchen was. All the broken dishes, scattered silverware, and various other bits of debris that should have been there was missing. I glanced around the room in an attempt to solve the Mystery of the Missing Mess and saw, to my absolute surprise, Boss was in a corner of the kitchen surrounded by trash bags. He was using his magic to manipulate the broom and dust pan as he swept the last bits of rubbish into a trash bag.

"Boss!" I exclaimed happily.

Boss was startled by my outburst and nearly lost his control over the broom. He glared back at me.

"Don't sneak up on me, you nitwit!" he grouched. "People have been killed that way!"

I ignored him. I was too pleased to pay attention to his threats anyway.

"You cleaned!" I shouted in glee.

"Of course I cleaned." Boss said, striking a haughty pose. "Perhaps you can live in filth and be satisfied, but I refuse! Besides, you were in no condition to do any proper cleaning and shoddy cleaning is almost as unacceptable as not cleaning at all!"

In spite of my sore face, I broke out into a huge dopey grin. I knew that was just Boss speak for "I knew you were tired and in pain from last night's ordeal, so I did all the cleaning so you wouldn't have to."

"Boss, I love you!" I chirped.

This time Boss did drop the broom.

"Don't be such a sentimental sap!" he bellowed while turning several shades of red.

I stifled a laugh.

"By the way, what were you yelling about?" I asked.

Boss started to answer but was interrupted by a loud, obnoxious belch that seemed the shake the entire apartment. I turned to see the Edgy Bitty sitting on top of the microwave chewing on the last few bites of a banana. My eyes bulged in horror.

"How did you get out!?" I shrieked.

The Bitty laughed at my outburst. "The cage is magic proof but it ain't teeth proof, dumb ass." He sneered and tossed the banana peel onto the kitchen floor.

Boss very nearly exploded.

"Pick that up, you disgusting pig! I just cleaned in here!" He snarled at the smaller Bitty.

Edgy merely snorted at Boss's rage. "So what. You still got the broom out, don'tcha?"

"I will not clean up your filth, you worthless bag of bones!!!" Boss shouted, eye sockets glowing in rage.

Edgy scoffed and eyed the mound of trash bags. "Looks like ya spent all night cleaning up my filth. Why stop now?"

Boss looked like he was getting ready to swat Edgy with the broom but I stopped him.

"Boss, did you really stay up all night cleaning?" I asked giving him a watery-eyed look of appreciation. Boss just growled.

"Don't you start that sappy nonsense again!" He snapped at me; a blush crawling onto his cheek bones.

"You guys are disgustin'" Edgy commented with a scowl. He leaned back against the wall in an uncaring manner then kicked over the toothpick holder. He plucked a tooth pick from the pile and began picking his teeth with it. I took one look at his jagged, shark-like teeth and instinctively hid my hands behind my back. My sores were actually stinging from the memory of what his bite felt like. Edgy seemed to notice and chuckled at my discomfort.

"Forget him," Boss said. "You have a report to write for your employer and it's already noon. Get yourself dressed and then we'll get started on lunch. I'm going to teach you the difference between a tea spoon and a table spoon if it's the last thing I do!"

Here he cast Edgy a nasty look.

"We will deal with the upstart intruder later." he said.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was indeed a little passed noon. I started to run off to get dressed when I noticed the weird look Edgy was shooting both me and Boss.

"Hey, who's the parent here anyway?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I told you not to pay him any mind!" Boss said with a huff. "You've got work to do, so get to it!"

Once again, I started off to get dressed and, once again, Edgy stopped me.

"Now I see why Boss hasn't mauled you yet." He said with a mocking laugh. "He's got you wrapped around his little finger bones. You're just a big pushover, huh? "

I swear my feet actually made the sound of squealing tires as I came to a literal screeching hault. I whirled on the little Edge Lord and pointed a bandaged finger at him (though not too close to his face, mind you).

"I ain't no pushover and I ain't wrapped 'round nobody's finger bones!" I said defiantly: my accent pushing through a bit.

Edgy stared blankly at me for a moment before his glowing eye sockets took on a pleading, kittenish look. He pointed to the discarded banana peel.

"Would you pick that up for me?" He asked.

"Aw! Sure thing, little guy!" I said and picked up the peel.

I froze as I heard the unmistakable sound of Boss face-palming behind me and I realized what I'd done. Edgy laughed cruelly and I glared at him.

"No fair!" I shrieked. "You did the puppy eyes thing!"

Edgy just laughed harder. I snorted, trying to hide my annoyance.

"Whatever. Boss and I have an understanding. There's nothing wrong with that." I stated.

"Sure," said Edgy. "So does he use human treats to train you? Or were you pre-trained?"

I started to inform Edgy that humans didn't need treats until my brain actually processed what he said. I huffed and left the room to get dressed. Later as I was sitting at my laptop, I was having a hard time staying focused on my task. It may have had to do with my rough night last night, but most likely it had to do with the fact that every few minutes Edgy would toss a random item at me: a wad of paper, a pencil, a paper clip, a pillow, a lamp, a stereo speaker, etc. Whenever Edgy got a hold of something fragile or valuable Boss would launch himself from his spot on the sofa and wrestle the object from the smaller Bitty via magical tug-of-war. Of course Boss would be screaming insults and Edgy would be growling obscenities. Then the two decided to forgo tug-of-war altogether and got into an all out brawl. Now they were behaving like the monsters they were: biting, growling, and clawing at each other. Boss clearly had the upper hand and Edgy knew it. Edgy cowered away from Boss at first, acting as though he really didn't want to get into a physical fight with the stronger Bitty, but when Boss called him a weakling Edgy tackled him onto the carpet like a pro-wrestler. Surprised by the sudden attack, Boss found himself on his back looking up at the younger Bitty with a dazed look on his face.

"Who's the weakling now, Scrub Lord!?" Edgy shouted mocked in triumph.

Boss exploded and jumped up from his prone position; a hellish, read aura erupting around him. 

"I WILL END YOU, YOU KNUCKLE-DRAGGING, MUSTARD GUZZLING, ABORTION OF MAGIC!!!"

Ho-lee sparkly shit on a enchanted pixie stick!! I've never in my life seen Boss that angry before! I had to step in before he reduced Edgy to a pile of smoldering ash!

"BOSS!" I shouted. Instantly the hell fire surrounding Boss fizzled out and my Bitty looked at me with a mixture of rage, desperation, frustration, and pleading. Then he said something I never thought I'd hear him say,

"But he started it!"

I was momentarily shocked by how childish Boss was acting at that moment. He must have realized it too because he suddenly began doing some calming breathing exercises. Once he had reigned in his temper he looked up at me. With a disturbingly calm voice he said,

"I will not share a house with this bundle of nightmares. You will return him to the adoption center tomorrow, do you hear? Either he goes back to the center or... or I will. You decide."

With that Boss stomped off into the bedroom, surprisingly not slamming the door. Edgy, who had been curled up in a fetal position behind my leg since Boss went on his tirade, took that moment to materialize on my shoulder. He got right in my face with a threatening glare.

"Man, fuck that! I ain't goin' back to that adoption center! Never! I got a good thing goin' here and I'm stayin', you got that? I'm never going back there again!!"

With that he vanished in a cloud of red smoke that made my eyes itch and my throat burn. I coughed a bit and then fought the urge to scream at the top of my lungs and smash the coffee table (it was one of the only things that hadn't been broken yet). Instead I tried doing what Boss did and take a few calming breaths. Lord knows the neighbors were probably scared shitless of all the horror movie like sounds that had been coming from my apartment lately. They'd never complained though. Most likely they were too scared to.

Once I calmed down enough not to have an emotional breakdown in the middle of the living room, I sat in front of my laptop and opened my browser. I went to the adoption center main site and did a little research on Edgy. I was shocked at how little information there was about individual Bitties. It seemed the center's site was only interested in coaxing people to come down to the center and meet the Bitties in person. I suppose that was okay for getting adopters but I needed information. I did a quick Google search on Edgy and found a lot of interesting... and disturbing things. There was once page that covered treating Edgy bites and featured a startling amount of gory pictures of bites of varying ranges of seriousness. At least three pictures showed stitched up hands and two showed fingers that were missing chunks of flesh.

"Ugh!" I grunted and quickly clicked away from the page. I found a page on "Underfell Bitties". I scanned over the articles and pictures. There was a picture of what appeared to be a married couple cuddling a grumpy looking Boss Bitty. The man and woman had him balanced between them while they each were planting a kiss on the sides of his skull. The Bitty looked a bit younger than my Boss but he was sporting Boss's trademark glare. I could just make out the slightly upturned edges of his scowl. I laughed, because it reminded me of my Boss... my Boss who was really upset with me for something I didn't understand yet. I sighed and made a mental note that I would have to speak with him later. There was another picture of a rough looking man covered in tattoos who was reading a copy of Stephen King's the Shining. On his head was a Edgy Bitty who was pointing at the page and seemed to be asking something. This Edgy looked pretty content and the guy didn't look like he'd been terrorized. I snorted. Nice to know the little beasts can be tamed, I thought.

Then I saw it. Down near the bottom of the page was the word "warning" followed by this statement in a bold, red font:

BOSS AND EDGY BITTIES ARE NOT COMPATIBLE!

I stared blankly at the screen.

NO FLIPPITY FLUCKING DUH, GOOGLE!

I growled and closed the browser. I opened my document files back up and got to work. Now that Boss and Edgy weren't having a battle royale in the living room I could concentrate on my report. Still I was bothered by the fact that Boss was angry with me. I was also more than a little concerned at how adamant Edgy was about not going back to the adoption center. The look he gave me when he told me he wasn't going to be returned was not a look of an angry brat. It was the look of an animal that had been backed into a corner; all puffed up and putting on a big show of viciousness to hide some deeply buried terror. Realizing I'd stopped typing I shook my head of the uncomfortable thoughts and got back to work. I hoped that what the Cyclops doctor that helped with Boss said about me was true. I had a feeling that I was going to need some of that Determination stuff to get through what was going to happen next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note 2: Next chapter we'll take another break from Boss and Edgy to check in on the Ferals again in a special Christmas themed chapter.


	12. Pre-Update Note: READ THIS!!!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't ignore this because it isn't a chapter. I have something important to say.

First, I want to sincerely apologize for not getting the Christmas special out on Christmas like I promised. Currently, I'm working on it at the same time I write this. I had every intention of getting it out on EXACTLY Christmas day, but a lot of unexpected stuff went down (nothing bad, just unexpected) and I truly hadn't any time to work on the story. A large part of this was because all this stuff started happening on the days that I set aside to actually work on the Christmas Chapter. Though, I did learn a very valuable lesson: "Don't make promises you can't keep" or more specifically, "Broken promises piss off fan fiction readers!!!" The last two times I promised definite dates for updates ended up with me breaking those promises for one reason or another. So with that in mind, I will never again promise definite dates for chapters or updates. No more promises! Updates will happen when they happen. End of story! (Somewhere in the Underground, Sans is nodding his head in agreement. "Yep. That's why I don't make promises.") In other words, I will never again break a promise because I will never again make a promise. That make sense? I respect you guys too much to keep doing that to you! 

And while I'm on the topic of respect, I want to address something that's been bugging me since I started writing fan fiction. Keep in mind that I'm not specifically pointing anyone out or thinking of any one person in particular when I write this. Yes, you're all in for another lecture, but this is something that needs to be said, especially since the problem doesn't seem to be stopping any time soon. Ever since I started writing this story I've been getting a few messages from people who are a bit... impatient... with how often I do updates. Some have gone so far as to send me private messages begging, demanding, and even trying to guilt trip me into updating. See, here's the thing... While I truly appreciate the fact that people like what I write, I DO NOT appreciate it when people treat me as if it is my DUTY to entertain them. This is fan fiction! I'm not getting paid for this, you know! Furthermore, I wright mainly because I WANT TO. Believe it or not but my entire life is not devoted to just writing fan fiction. If I want to spend months on end playing video games, or spending time with family, or doing something that I ACTUALLY GET PAID TO DO, then I'm going to do that instead. Ya got that? I'm not just saying that for myself, but for all fan fiction writers. We are people. Real, living, breathing human beings with our own lives and our own agendas. Sometimes these agendas include writing fan fiction. Sometimes not.   
I want to say that have an incredible amount of gratitude for those of you who read and enjoy my work, especially those of you who leave comments sharing your ideas and discussing a fandom we both love. Even if you don't leave comments, it still means a lot to me that you took the time to read my story. Because of this, I've always tried to be respectful towards my readers, even the ones that offer harsh criticisms. But let's get to the point, shall we?

If you, who are reading this right now, are under the impression that I owe you something just because you read my stories then you are sadly mistaken. It doesn't matter if you favorite me, follow me, vote for my story, leave kudos and all that jazz.  I do not owe you anything. So if you want to stop reading my work, un-follow me, un-fav me, withdraw your kudos (or whatever) simply because I don't update when you think I should or that I dared to keep you waiting for the next chapter because I would rather do something else with MY PERSONAL LIFE, then by all means, do so now. I'm not being ungrateful. Like I said before, I appreciate my readers, but only the readers who respect the fact that I'm not a robot programmed to spew out fan fiction chapters every single day! 

So please, do not send me any more messages asking me to update, or worse, asking me WHY I haven't updated. How would you like it if I started sending YOU messages like this:

"Hey so, I updated the story a second ago. I noticed you haven't read it yet."

or

"Dude! You've been reading my story for months now! You gonna leave a comment or what!? You could at least fav it or something!"

or

"You haven't left me a comment in a while now. Mind explaining that?" 

You'd get pissed with that shit real quick, wouldn't you? It's annoying and it's disrespectful. I don't do that kind of shit to people so I would really prefer it if people would stop doing that to me. Ya feel me? (I've been playing far too much Fallout 4)

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to get back to writing that Christmas chapter I promised you all. 


	13. Blue's Christmas Gift pt 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Blue enlists the help of his friends Hermano (Lil Bro) and Softy to spread some much needed Christmas Cheer to the Feral Bitties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I apologize once more for not getting this chapter out on time. Consider it a belated Christmas gift! I'm splitting this up into two parts so I can get it out faster. Hope that's alright with you guys!

QUICK INFO NOTE: This chapter will introduce two new Bitties: Soft Bones and Lil' Bro. Soft Bones is a Sans Bitty who sleeps a lot and apparently smells really nice. I see him as being a bit like regular Undertale Sans except he's not quite as into puns. Still a practical joker though. Most writers seem to depict him as just a bum that does nothing but sleep, but that's boring. I wanted my version of Softy to actually have a personality besides just sleeping all the time. I write him as being easy going and optimistic, kinda like regular Sans except without all the hidden angst. I see him as being like a cat I used to have: very friendly, even to strangers (sometimes to the point of being annoying), falls asleep in weird places and positions, and is a total cuddle bug. He doesn't care who he cuddles or even if they want to cuddle. There WILL be cuddles. You CANNOT escape the cuddles! Though he seems a little narcoleptic and has been known to fall asleep at the strangest/worst times. Lil' Bro is an Underswap Papyrus Bitty. He's pretty much just like Underswap Papyrus: Protective of those he cares about, laid back to a fault, and likes to playfully tease friends and family. Basically he acts like a big brother even though he's only a few inches tall. In this story he is named "Hermano", which means "brother" or "sibling" in Spanish. He and Baby Blue are not brothers in this AU. They come from different families. Now enough exposition and onto the story!

 

Throughout the week when Hermano's parents went to work, they would drop him off at Miss Maddie's house. Miss Maddie was a kindly old lady who ran a Bitty Bones day care. He liked it there well enough. Most days he would hang out with the other Bitties playing games, taking naps, snacking on sweets, and just vegging out on the couch and watching TV until his parents picked him up to take him home. Today, however, he knew was going to be different. As soon as he walked through the door he got the vibe that something was out of the ordinary. For one thing, there was only one other bitty present and that was his friend Softy who was lying face down in an overstuffed pillow on the sofa; his rump sticking straight up in the air. That by itself wasn't too weird. He knew that the Christmas holidays had started and most big people were off work. That meant that Bitties would be at home with their families. Softy's odd sleeping position wasn't that unusual either. Softy had nodded off in even weirder ways and in weirder positions. Once Hermano opened the cookie jar to find Softy sound asleep and clinging to the underside of the cookie jar lid. No, there was something else off...

That's when he felt it: a surge of incredible magical energy. Really HYPER magical energy. By the time he realized where it was coming from it was too late. A laughing blue blur whirled out of the kitchen and tackled him to the floor.

"FRIEND HERMANO!!!!"

Hermano looked up to see his other friend, Blue, perched on his rib cage with the biggest smile on his face. He was positively trembling with excitement.

"I am so glad you're here! I need your help with something..."

Blue glanced towards the kitchen where Miss Maddie was busy making Christmas cookies and fruitcake. Satisfied that he wouldn't be overheard, Blue began rambling jumbled together words that may or may not have explained what he was so excited about. The small (smol), smiling skeleton jabbered breathlessly (possibly literally, breathlessly) about what Hermano could only assume were plans he'd made for the holidays. From Blue's hurried speech, Hermano could only pick out a few words and phrases including: cheer, presents, cold, Christmas spirit, decorations, visit, charity, secret Santa, and..... hold the bone phone...!!!!

Hermano sat up so fast he very nearly knocked the excitable younger Bitty onto the floor.

"Blue," he said with a decidedly collected tone. "You wanna run that last one by me again? 'Cause I'm not sure I heard you right."  
Blue took a deep gulp of breath (because he apparently used it all up trying to explain things to Hermano in a single sentence) and said, "I said I want to spread some Christmas cheer by giving presents... to the... Feral... Bitties."

As Blue spoke he noticed the blank look he was getting from his best friend. He knew that look. He hated that look. That was look Hermano always gave him right before he told him that something he was about to do was dangerous and that he shouldn't do it.  
"Yep, that's what I thought you said." Hermano said, with a serious glance towards Miss Maddie.

Blue's enthusiasm waned, but only slightly. As Hermano got up Blue tugged the taller Bitty's hoodie.

"Wait." he looking up at Hermano with a very purposeful stare. "Before you have the Elderly Human lecture me about the dangers of associating with Feral Bitties, I have a story to tell."

Hermano wanted to protest, but one look at those sparkling, star shaped eyes so filled with hope and... ugh!

Hermano let loose a very tired sigh. He was going to regret this. He just knew it.

"Okay, little buddy," he said, inwardly hating the fact that he wasn't allowed to smoke.

"I'm listening."

Blue's smile was blinding, but suddenly he gave Hermano a look of sincerity.

"But first, I need you to make a solemn oath to never tell my Mother and Father what I'm about to tell you."

Blue being secretive? Innocent little Blue keeping things from his own parents? If Hermano wasn't worried before he was downright overwrought now.

"What on earth did you do, Blue?" he asked.

\------------------------------------------------------

Blue told Hermano the whole story about how he met Teddy. He told him everything including how Teddy had not only saved him from the angry dog, but from his own brother. Hermano was grateful to the Feral for that, but still, a Feral is a Feral. As Blue recounted his tale, Hermano found it hard to keep the calm, lazy expression on his face. When Blue mentioned the fact that he teleported to escape the dog, Hermano's face lit up with pride.

"I'm really glad I taught you that trick, then." he said, beaming down at his friend, who was grinning and doing a heroic pose.  
"Of course, the foul smelling beast was no match for the Magnificent Blue!" he said haughtily and brushed his scarf back. The aforementioned article of clothing suddenly began waving dramatically although there was absolutely no breeze of any kind in the room.

"You're so cool, dude." Hermano gushed.

"I know." Blue said and brushed imaginary dust off of his tiny, plastic armor.

"You can praise me more later, Friend Hermano. Right now I need to know if you are willing to help me in this endeavor."

Hermano sighed heavily.

"I'm gonna be honest, kid," he said. "I really don't like this idea. I know you said the Feral helped you, but why? These guys are usually complete nutcases! Who knows what was going through his head at the time! I really think you should leave well enough alone. Besides, just because he helped you once doesn't mean he'll help you again. You shouldn't take that chance."

"Have you ever been hungry before, Hermano?"

The seriousness of the question and the fact that it came from the usually fun-loving Blue alarmed Hermano.

"I don't mean the I-skipped-breakfast kind of hungry, either. I mean starving! Desperate and starving!!" Blue had a miserable, faraway look on his face as he thought of Teddy.

"They'd been eating rats, Hermano! Eating rats and garbage and living in a filthy alleyway with no one to take care of them! Teddy looked like he'd been wearing the same clothes for years!" Blue looked downright distraught now.

"Teddy?" Hermano questioned. "You know his name?"

"You said they were crazy? I'd go crazy too if I had to live like that!" Blue interrupted; his voice wavering slightly.

"Blue..." Hermano began. Blue cut him off again.

"Do you know what my Mother told me? She said that sometimes people leave out traps or poisoned food for them! Instead of helping them, people only want to kill them! I know Ferals have hurt people before, but still, that's just... that's so...."

Blue let out a long gasping sob and large, blue tears began pouring from his eye sockets.

"Knowing those are the kinds of things Teddy probably goes through on a daily basis.... *sob* ... I just can't stand by and do nothing, Hermano!"

Hermano felt himself cave in like a broken eggshell.

"Aw geez, Blue." he muttered and embraced the sobbing Bitty. The poor little guy was such a bleeding heart (or soul, whatever) that he couldn't stand to see others suffer. He was too kind and way too forgiving as far as Hermano was concerned. Blue had even told him that he believed that even the worst person could change for the better. Hermano wasn't so sure about that and he was almost certain Blue got that idea from a cartoon or something. Regardless he wasn't about to deny his closest friend the chance to make someone else happy. Even if the people he wanted to make happy might be murderous, demented cannibals. The stuff one does for their friends, sheesh!

Hermano released Blue who wiped his tears with his scarf.

"Does this mean you will help me, Freind Hermano?" Blue asked; his large, watery eyes filled with hope.

"Guess I can't say no to that face." Hermano chuckled. "I'll help ya, kiddo. Now turn off the waterworks before you flood the place."

Blue ignored Hermano's teasing and slapped an especially huge grin on his face.

"But I've got _tibia_ be in charge." Hermano said, grinning wickedly.

Instantly Blue's grin turned into a pout and the Bitty crossed his arms, sulking. Blue grumbled a bit before stating, "Very well, but I am still the leader. Only I know where Teddy lives after all."

Hermano smiled at Blue's antics. "Whatever you say, your highness." he teased.

Both Bitties were startled by a thunderous shout of "HAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!!" Blue shot into Hermano's arms and clung to the older Bitty for dear life. They looked over to the sofa where Softy had chosen that moment to scream in his sleep. He was sitting straight up with a dazed, unfocused look on his face. He rolled his yellow eyes over to where Blue and Hermano clung to each other.  
"....sandwich...." he mumbled before falling back to sleep, flopping over onto his back, sliding off of the pillow, and disappearing in between the couch cushions.

"We'd better get him outta there before he gets lost again." Hermano mumbled.

"Yes!" Blue chirpped. "We will need his help, too."

"Did you say you wanted ham, Softy?" Miss Maddie called from the kitchen.

Hermano face palmed and snickered. "No, he was just sleep screaming again!" he called back. He turned back to Blue.  
"You sure taking him will be a good idea?" he asked.

"Certainly!" said Blue. "... as long as we can keep him awake."

Yep, Hermano was definitely going to regret this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note 2: So that's part one. Sorry if it seems rushed but I needed to get this out there so you guys at least have something to read before I get to the next part.


	14. Update-- Important Stuff and Future Plans (DO NOT SKIP!)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What the title says...

Yes, I know. This should be a story chapter and not yet another author's note, but this is important stuff (like the title says)! First, I feel I should explain why it's been so long between chapters. My PC kinda, blew up... Yeah, I was visiting my Dad a few weekends ago and there was a storm. Lightning apparently fried my PC somehow and now the bugger won't even turn on. I can only hope it isn't fried completely and I'll have to get another one. Worse still, My PC is were I stored all my Bitty Bones stories (because I don't really trust my derpy laptop), so I no longer have access to the stuff I was working on. This includes the long-awaited second half of the Christmas chapter. I really liked what I had already written and I don't want to have to rewrite it. So I'm going to wait until I can hopefully get my PC fixed before I bother with it anymore. At this rate it might be next freakin' Christmas before the Christmas chapter gets out! Sorry about that! In the mean time I will continue to work on other stories within the fic. That means more Boss and Edgy, but I also want to write some slice of life stuff for the Ferals, especially since you guys have been begging for more Teddy! 

Lately I've also started liking the Swapfell AU. I was put off by it at first because it is just the Underfell version of Swapfell. So basically it's an alternate universe of an alternate universe, which I find weird and confusing. Although, I suppose you could say the same thing for Bitty Bones as it is an alternate universe of several universes... yeah, I'm going to not think about that anymore or my already limited brain's going to shut down. Getting to the point, I'm asking you, the readers, if I should at some point add the Swapfell brothers to the Bitty lineup. If so, I've got a pretty good story idea for Swapfell Papyrus. Also, what do you think their Bitty names should be?

And now I want to discuss some future plans:

I've already mentioned that I plan to write more about the Ferals. I already plan to write another chapter that includes Teddy, Gray (Dusty), and Baby Blue. I also plan to write a deep, dark chapter about Gray's past and why he is the way he is. If you are familiar with the Dusttale au, you should have an idea what it will be like, but keep in mind that this will be the Bitty Bones version of that story, so it will not play out exactly like the Dusttale story-line. Basically it will explain where Gray got all that xp and lv. It won't be pretty, and it will involve character death. So if you're here for the fluff and cuteness you may want to skip out on that chapter. Poor Freaky and Creepy need their own chapter as well and I think I have something planned for them, too. 

I realize that I've been neglecting the other types of Bitties as well. So far I've only been writing about the Skeleton Bitties, and I've been wanting to write about the Grillbitties but I've got no ideas at all. If any of you are familiar with the Grillby type Bitties and have some ideas of what kind of story I could write for them, please share! Take note that I already have Grimby (Underfell Grillby) making a cameo in the second half of the Christmas chapter, but I'm more than willing to give him his own chapter. 

The very next chapter I write will be a stand alone story about the Origin brothers, namely Sansy and Papy! Let's hear it for the original Undertale Universe!!! Then after that it's back to main storyline with Jessica trying to figure out what's going on with Edgy as well as trying to figure out why Boss is being more of a jerk than normal. 

Lastly, I've been kind of curious about this lately, but what kind of Bitty do you guys think you would have? Or do you think you would take in one of the Ferals? If so how do you think you'd manage that? Feel free to discuss it in the comments!!!


	15. Teasers!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Teasers of upcoming chapters. I'll post some real chapters soon, I swear!

Just a little something to show you guys that I'm still alive and still working on this story. The following are excerpts from upcoming chapters within the story. I also want to address the fact that some of you have mentioned that this story is a bit confusing. I realise that it seems a bit all over the place because of how I write it, but please keep in mind that this is a series composed of more than one story. While the stories take place in the same universe, each chapter is centered on a different group of Bitties. One chapter might be about Softy while another chapter may be about Edgy. The two main story lines of the series concerns Boss and Edgy and Blue and the Ferals. Most of the upcoming stories will be oneshots that don't have any connection to the main story lines other than sharing the same universe. But to make things less confusing I may consider seperating the main stories into their own singular story and only add the oneshots to the Bitty Bones series. Readers, please let me know what you think.  
Teaser 1: Jessica confronts Edgy about his fears  
I finally found Edgy hiding in one of the Kitchen cabinets. He was facing the wall, muttering to himself and kicking at a can of tuna. He glanced back at me when I opened the cabinet but turned away too quickly for me to catch his expression. Even so, I could tell he was very upset.

I cleared my throat.

"We.... we need to talk." I stammered, not sure of how to start a conversation that I knew was going to be very uncomfortable. 

"There's nothin' ta talk about." Edgy growled. He turned and glared up at me. He was trembling with emotion. I could see the beginnings of tears at the corners of his eye sockets but his face only showed rage. 

"I already told ya! I ain't never goin' back there! I don't wanna be adopted anyway. You humans are all assholes and I hate ya! Yer all tha same! Ya all act like ya can control everybody and make 'em act how ya want! Ya make me sick! I'm not an animal, dammit! Stop tryin' ta tame me like damned monkey!!" 

He wasn't holding back the tears anymore and they were flowing freely down his round face. I bit back my own emotions and tried to respond in a calm and collected way. I needed to know where all this stuff was coming from. What on Earth happened to the little guy to make him so bitter and scared? Taking a deep breath I tried to restart the conversation. 

"Look, Edgy, nobody's trying to control you or tame you. Not here anyway. I'm not here to talk about taking you back to the Center. I just want to know the reason why you don't want to go back, that's all."  
It was blunt, I know, but I didn't know anyway to soften the question.  
Edgy gave the tuna can an especially vicious kick that sent it sliding into a can of peas. He furiously rubbed the tears from his eye sockets. He then looked at his hands and scowled at them as if they were the most repulsive things he'd ever seen.  
"I'm so fuckin' weak..." He muttered, his voice barely audible. 

"Edgy..." I started.

"I didn't wanna go back because.... because... because of her! She keeps comin' back no matter how many times they throw her out! She won't leave me the hell alone!"

I'm going to hold off on posting the second part to the Christmas chapter until THIS Christmas because it just feels right to do so. Yes, I am deeply ashamed it took an entire year to get the second part up. :( Well, here's the teaser for it anyway.

Teaser 2: Blue, Hermano, and Softy find the Ferals  
For a moment the three Bitties stood in utter silence. Hermano swore he could feel a waterfall of icy cold sweat pouring down his spine in spite of the fact that he had no sweat glands whatsoever. Softy, who had most likely woke up at the sound of the crash, clung to Hermano's shoulders a little tighter. Blue just glanced around, squinting into the darkness with a nervous look on his face. Somewhere in the distance, a dog started barking. 

Hermano's frazzled nerves couldn't take much more. It didn't help that his mind kept going over all the stories he'd heard about Ferals, especially that news report about the human who's corpse had been found all chewed up. The human had been a huge bear of a man that looked like he'd could juggle elephants for a living. If the ferals could take down a full grown human like that, what hope did three normal sized Bitties have to survive? 

All at once, small lights punctured the darkness of the alley. Most of the lights glowed red and looked... angry. Eyes! They're eyes! Hermano realized. To his further horror, he noticed that they were everywhere: nestled on top of trashcans, huddled under boxes, peering out of holes in walls. They were completely surrounded by Ferals! 

All around them the eyes moved, blinked, winked at each other as the Ferals hopped, crawled, teleported, and lumbered about. Hermano could feel his brain shutting down with terror, but he knew that now was not the time to lose his cool. He had two younger Bitties that needed protection. So he did the only thing he knew to do to stay focused: mentally rehearse bad jokes. 

Did you hear about the guy who lost his entire left side? He's ALL RIGHT now!

Blue turned to him with a slightly shaky grin. "Goodness but there are a lot of them!" he said. " I hope we brought enough gifts!"

The person who invented the door knocker was awarded with the NO BELL prize.

"Fresh meat...." a gruff voice whispered from somewhere behind them. "Nah. They look kinda bony to me!" another voice joked and the alley roared with cruel, crazed laughter. 

To write with a broken pencil is POINTLESS.

Hermano was faintly aware of Softy snoring and muttering in his sleep. "You haven't fed the turtles today, Bobby Kanoosh." he said mid-snore while lazily shaking a fingerbone at the air. 

Two silk worms had a race, but It ended in a TIE.

Before Hermano could stop him, Blue had climbed onto dirty box nearby and addressed the crowd of wild Bitties. "Pardon us, shadowy friends," he said, voice faltering only slightly. "Do any of you happened to know of a Bitty named Teddy?" 

The gibbering, laughing, whispering, and growling came to a sudden halt. The alley was once again completely silent. It was broken when thundering footsteps started toward them. All the glowing eyes turned to look at a hulking figure, lumbering ever closer to the trio. Hermano's hands clinched and he had to fight to keep his magic from activating. 

What do you call three stupid Bitties that wander into Feral territory in the middle of the night? BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER...

Don't worry, readers. I'll be posting some actual stories soon!


	16. Blue's Christmas Gift part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hermano meets up with Blue and Softy to take gifts to the ferals. Hermano feels that Blue doesn't quite understand how dangerous their little trip will be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please pardon the extreme lateness of these Christmas chapters! Lot's of things kept me from working on it for a while, but none of that's important now. Anyway, I forgot to mention that this Christmas Special is dedicated to Goatmom of archiveofourown.org. I got some of the ideas for this chapter from her. It may not have been exactly what she had in mind but it was still very much inspired by some suggestions. So, thanks a lot Goatmom! This one's for you!

Regret! Regret! SO MUCH REGRET!! 

Hermano's plan was supposed to have been simple. They would all wait until their parents had put them to bed and then Blue, Softy, and himself would sneak out and meet outside of Blue's house once their parents had gone to sleep. After that they would follow Blue to where this "Teddy" guy hung out, drop off the presents, get back to their respective homes and back into bed before their parents even knew they'd been anywhere. Easy. 

Unfortunately the Fates must have been PMSing and decided to take it out on Hermano that night. Sneaking out had been no problem, but when he arrived at Blue's house he quickly realized that his plan was already falling apart. The starry eyed Bitty was standing outside of his home smiling brillantly and waving wildly in his direction. Behind him was one of those toy Radio Flyer wagons that was positively filled with small wrapped presents. 

Problem number one: Hermano hadn't realized just how many presents Blue planned on bringing on this trip. It would take them hours to unload all that crap, even if they used their magic! This was supposed to be a quick drop off, not a family get together!

Problem number two: Blue had taken it upon himself to make the wagon look more festive by decorating it with BRIGHTLY BLINKING CHRISTMAS LIGHTS!!! So much for not calling attention to themselves. At this rate Hermano thought that they may as well dump turkey gravy all over themselves and wear T-shirts that said "We are Christmas Dinner!"

Hermano tried very hard to keep the lazy grin on his face and not show just how annoyed he was. One look at Blue's adorable smiling face and there was just no way he could let the little guy down. He would keep opinions to himself for now. It would be fine. They could still do this stupid Christmas delivery thing quickly and in one peice. It was cool. No problem. Hermano glanced around. Nope. There was a problem.

"Hey, Blue, where's Softy?" he asked.

"Huh? Oh! He isn't here yet." Blue stated, smile never leaving his face. 

No, the Fates weren't PMSing. They just outright hated Hermano.

Hermano sighed heavily. He made Blue stay put while he "took a shortcut" to Softy's house. Of course, the laziest Bitty of them all was fast asleep and practically buried under a mound of Bitty sized stuffed animals. Hermano managed to rouse Softy from his slumber. Softy rubbed his eye sockets and yawned before latching onto Hermano in a snuggly choke hold. Hermano teleported back to Blue. 

"Good Evening, Softy!" Blue chirped a bit too loudly for Hermano's tastes. 

"'Sup." Softy greeted from over Hermano's shoulder. "Awesome wagon, buddy." 

"Thank you, friend Softy!" said Blue, puffing his little chest up with pride. 

"Can I ride in it?" Softy asked. 

"NO!" Hermano said a bit too sternly. 

Both of the smaller Bitties gave him a funny look. 

"I don't mind carrying you." said Hermano, quickly giving them both a reassuring smile. "You'll get lost in all those gift boxes anyway." 

Softy grunted. "Spoil sport." 

Truthfully, Hermano was worried about the Ferals finding Softy in the back of the wagon and getting the idea in their twisted minds that he was part of their presents. Nothing says "Christmas Spirit" like a living sacrifice! 

"If you guys are ready we'll get going," Hermano began. He then raised a fingerbone and gave them each a very serious expression. "But I'm layin' down some ground rules." 

Instantly Blue's expression turned sour. He was afraid of this but was expecting it anyway. Ever since he'd mentioned his idea for giving gifts to the Ferals, Hermano stopped acting like his usual lazy but fun-loving self and started acting like a strict older brother. Frankly, Blue was getting more than a little annoyed by his change in demenor. 

Hermano could tell Blue was annoyed with him. Normally he wasn't so paranoid and overprotective but this situation called for it. Neither of them understood the level of danger they were putting themselves in. "Please listen to what I have to say, Blue." he said, giving the smaller Bitty a pleading look. "I know I've been acting like a total killjoy lately, but trust me, I wouldn't be acting this way if there was no danger." He glanced back at Softy who was still clinging to his back.

"I'm awake." Softy said when he noticed Hermano's backward glance. "I'm listening, pal. So, what are the rules?" 

Hermano glanced at Blue to see him impatiently tapping his foot but paying attention never-the-less. He sighed, satisfied that they were both actually listening for a change. 

"First things first," he said. "We gotta ditch the lights, kid." 

"But Hermano-" Blue started to protest.

"Sorry, kid. They'll call too much attention to us." 

Blue grumbled but began taking the lights off of the wagon. He coiled them neatly in the corner of his parent's garage. Next he removed the portable battery pack he'd had them pluged into and set it next to them. Finally he returned to Hermano and Softy. 

Now that the light issue was out of the way, Hermano began his list of rules.

"Number one, we stick to the shadows. No talking to any big people we pass by. No, not even to wish them a Merry Christmas. We stay out of sight no matter what."

Here he gave Blue a pointed look. The smaller Bitty just scowled and stuck his tounge out at him. 

Hermano normally would have snickered at the reaction, but not tonight. 

"Blue, you do know what would happen to us if we're caught out here by ourselves with no parents or guardians to protect us?" Hermano asked. 

Blue opened and closed his mouth several times, but ultimately kept it closed and stared at the ground. 

"We're easy prey, guys. Any dirty lowlife could come along and do whatever they wanted to us and no one would step in to stop it. Do you know why? Because they're aren't many laws to protect us. We're just pets in the eyes of the government. To make matters worse, any Bitty caught alone is automatically considered a Feral. This is because no Bitty ever wanders around alone unless there's something wrong with them."

Hermano turned back to Softy who was, surprisingly, still awake. 

"Rule number two, stay alert. Keep watch for danger at all times. That means no dozing off, Softy. We need you to help look out. Besides you have a habit of screaming bloody murder in your sleep and that will get us noticed for sure. "

Softy gave Hermano an exceptionally lazy salute. "Got it, Sarge." he joked. He was a slightly tempted to say "Got it, Boss" but he knew that title would no doubt bring back unpleasant memories for Hermano. Back at the Bitty adoption center he, Hermano, and Blue came from, there were three Boss Bitties and two Edgy Bitties that used to give poor Hermano a ton of Hell. The lanky, lazy Bitty had developed quite a distaste for Fell Bitties ever since then.

"That leads me to rule number three," Hermano continued. "Keep your voices low. Let's try not to talk at all until it's absolutely necessary. And finally, rule number four, when we get there we are just going to leave the gifts and get out."

Blue, who had been restraining himself so far, couldn't hold back anymore. 

"We can't just dump the presents on the ground and leave, Hermano!" he nearly shouted, causing the taller Bitty to wince. "I have to give Teddy his gift in person! I made something just for him as a thank you! What if someone else takes it!?" 

Blue stopped protesting long enough to note the cold, dead stare he was getting from his friend. Uh oh. He knew that look. That was Hermano's "If you don't do what I say, you don't get your way" look. There was NO arguing with him when he was like that. But this was a different situation. Teddy had saved his life and he owed him. Blue could feel his eye sockets watering up.

"Okay, friend Hermano. If it's what you think is best." he wimpered.

And once again, Blue's puppy eyes made Hermano feel like garbage. He couldn't cave in this time, though. Not with so much at stake. Still, he couldn't stand to see the little guy so miserable. Hermano placed a bony hand on Blue's skull. 

"Blue, I know that this is important to you, but you have to understand the danger we'll be putting ourselves in. These are Ferals, kiddo. They aren't nice people and we can't treat this like a family get-together. These guys have hurt people, even big people! I know this Teddy guy stuck up for you once, but this time it might be different. We can't take the chance."

Blue wiped his eyes and looked up at Hermano. He watched as his taller friend's serious face give way to the smug, playful expression he was used to. Suddenly, Blue found himself pulled into a semi headlock while Hermano dragged his bony knuckles across his skull. NO! He'd fallen for one of Hermano's clever traps yet again!

"Besides, if something happened to you who would I give all my noogies to?" Hermano snickered.

"No! Don't noggie the skeleton!" Blue cried, doing his best to keep from shouting. No easy feat when you're caught in one of Hermano's Noogies of Doom! 

Softy just chuckled at their antics.

Hermano let Blue go. Once Blue composed himself he embraced Hermano in one of his Hugs of Eternal Friendship. 

"Thank you for helping me with this, friend Hermano!" Blue said in genuine gratitude. 

Not wanting to be left out of all the hugging, Softy wrapped his arms around Hermano's skull, effectively covering up his eye sockets. 

"Thanks for letting me tag along, dudes." he said with a slight yawn. 

Hermano just stood there for a bit. A few moments passed. The hugging hadn't stopped. 

"Okay, you guys are grossing me out now." Hermano said with false grumpiness. "We'd better go before you two give me cavities or diabetes or something." 

Blue let go and playfully punched Hermano in the arm. 

\-----------------------------------------------------

And I know some of you will want to crucify me, but this two parter is now a three parter. I just felt that the chapter was going on for a bit too long. The final chapter is ready but I'm not posting it until Christmas because it seems appropriate to do so. I hope that's okay. Thanks to all of you who have been so patient with me.


	17. Blue's Christmas Gift part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue and the gang find the Feral's hideout and things get a little... crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: This is it! The final chapter of the Christmas special is here! (It only took since last Christmas... yeesh). I'm so sorry I took so ridiculously long getting these out. And though I wanted to post this last chapter on Christmas day I wasn't able to do so due to my own Christmas celebrations with family. I ended up staying much longer than I thought I would. Sorry about that.

Hermano was pleased at how well things were going so far. Blue was taking the lead, marching happily. Behind him, Hermano was pulling the wagon while also carrying Softy, who was doing a surprisingly good job of staying alert. The wagon had been a bit heavy for Hermano, but once he, Blue, and Softy used their magic to get it out of the garage it was much easier to control. Just as planned, the three of them kept to shadow areas and stayed well out of the sight of humans or larger monsters. Fortunately, there weren't many people milling about at that hour. Occasionally someone would walk by or a car would pass and they'd have to duck out of sight. Eventually, with the occasional "short cut", they had the park in veiw. 

Almost instantly the festive atmosphere seemed to turn forboding. Hermano didn't like how the park looked at night. He shuddered at the idea of his little friend lost here all alone in the dark. Then he realized that all three of them where in that exact situation. He gripped Softy's leg a bit. The sleepy Bitty patted his shoulder in a comforting manner. Hermano watched Blue come to a stop near a rather grungy alley way. A quick glance around told him that they were nearing some of the more unsavory parts of the neighborhood. Blue turned to him, his face betraying just how nervous he was. No, not nervous. Scared. Blue looked scared. It was not an expression Hermano liked for his friends to have. 

"I- in h-here." Blue stammered, legs shaking a bit. He tried to put on a brave face for the other two but he was sure that they noticed how terrified he was. He thought back to what Hermano had said. Would Teddy recognize him? If he did, would he still be safe to be around? Who else lived in that alley with him? Blue thought back to what little he saw of Teddy's brother and gulped. He couldn't let his fear get the better of him. He had to do this. 

"Follow me." he said in a voice filled with determination. 

Hermano followed Blue, startled at his friend's sudden show of bravery. It was an act of course, but it still roused a feeling of pride in his soul. The moment he pulled the wagon into the shadows he smelled something. A cigarette. It instantly brought a feeling of want and envy in him. How long had it been since he'd last been allowed to smoke? Years? Probably. Though at this moment he could sure use some nicotine to ease his nerves. That's when the other smell overshadowed the first one. This smell made him scowl deeply for he recognized it, too. It was without a doubt the smell of magical flames, but it was marred by the stench of Underfell. Hermano glanced upwards and there, perched on a windowsill next to a potted plant was a Grimby. He was puffing away on a Bitty-sized cigarette; an item that sparked a bit of controversy in the Bitty adoptive community. It was finally decided that since Bitties don't age like humans do, there would be no age limits arranged for Bitties. Bitty parents would have to use their own discretion to decide if they're Bitties could smoke. Of course, Hermano's parents forbade him to so much as be in the same room as a lit cigarette. 

The tiny, purple fire monster eyed the three skeleton Bitties with clear contempt. His gaze stopped on Hermano when he felt the tall Bitty's scowl on him. His glasses dropped down a bit and he pushed them back up on his face, being sure to use his middle finger. Hermano was not about to let the little demon get to him. He turned away from the Grimby and was about to join Blue when a raspy, crackling laugh filled the air. 

"What the hell are you pansies doing in a place like this?" 

This. THIS! This was was why Hermano hated Fell Bitties. They always had to start trouble! Every single one of them were aggressive little asshats!

"Oh! Greetings fellow Bitty!" Blue chirped, happily.

The Grimby gave Blue a lazy glance that said that he was not at all impressed with him. He took one last drag from his cigarrette and tossed the butt onto the ground at Hermano's feet. Hermano ignored the unspoken insult. 

"Oh, you really shouldn't litter though. Litter trashes everyone, as they say!" Blue said, wagging a finger. 

"Feh. What are you gonna do about it? Lecture me some more? 'Sides, I asked you what you were doing here. This alley ain't safe for baby bones like you guys. Not that I care if the ferals rip you apart." the Grimby snorted disdainfully. 

That's it. Big Brother Mode Enagaged. Hermano stepped forward, masking his anger at the Grimby's word toward Blue with a cocky sneer. 

"Don't be such a hothead, dude. We're not bothering you. We're just passing through." he said with a charming smile. 

The Grimby glowered at him and glowed a little brighter. 

Blue rounded on him. 

"Hermano! That was dangerously close to a pun!" he warned. He turned back toward the Grimby. "Though what he says is true. We are looking for someone. Do you know of a very large, scary looking Feral Bitty named Teddy? You see we have all these gifts for..." 

"Let me get this straight," the Grimby interrupted. "You three shit stains are actually TRYING to find that psycho bastard?" He then burst into obnoxious, mocking laughter; his purple flames crackling wildly. "Oh, don't worry, I'll help you find him! I'll even ring the dinner bell!" With that, the Grimby kicked at the flower pot he was sitting next to. It toppled off of the windowsill and smashed into the collection of trash cans below. The Grimby laughed again and climbed back into the window, slamming it shut. The sound echoed throughout the alley way before finally dying down. There was no way that racket went unnoticed.

For a moment the three Bitties stood in utter silence. Hermano swore he could feel a waterfall of icy cold sweat pouring down his spine in spite of the fact that he had no sweat glands whatsoever. Softy, who had most likely woke up at the sound of the crash, clung to Hermano's shoulders a little tighter. Blue just glanced around, squinting into the darkness with a nervous look on his face. Somewhere in the distance, a dog started barking. 

Hermano's frazzled nerves couldn't take much more. It didn't help that his mind kept going over all the stories he'd heard about Ferals, especially that news report about the human who's corpse had been found all chewed up. The human had been a huge bear of a man that looked like he'd could juggle elephants for a living. If the ferals could take down a full grown human like that, what hope did three normal sized Bitties have to survive? 

All at once, small lights punctured the darkness of the alley. Most of the lights glowed red and looked... angry. Eyes! They're eyes! Hermano realized. To his further horror, he noticed that they were everywhere: nestled on top of trashcans, huddled under boxes, peering out of holes in walls. They were completely surrounded by Ferals! 

All around them the eyes moved, blinked, winked at each other as the Ferals hopped, crawled, teleported, and lumbered about. Hermano could feel his brain shutting down with terror, but he knew that now was not the time to lose his cool. He had two younger Bitties that needed protection. So he did the only thing he knew to do to stay focused: mentally rehearse bad jokes. 

Did you hear about the guy who lost his entire left side? He's ALL RIGHT now!

Blue turned to him with a slightly shaky grin. "Goodness but there are a lot of them!" he said. " I hope we brought enough gifts!"

The person who invented the door knocker was awarded with the NO BELL prize.

"Fresh meat...." a gruff voice whispered from somewhere behind them. "Nah. They look kinda bony to me!" another voice joked and the alley roared with cruel, crazed laughter. 

To write with a broken pencil is POINTLESS.

Hermano was faintly aware of Softy snoring and muttering in his sleep. "You haven't fed the turtles today, Bobby Kanoosh." he said mid-snore while lazily shaking a fingerbone at the air. 

Two silk worms had a race, but It ended in a TIE.

Before Hermano could stop him, Blue had climbed onto dirty box nearby and addressed the crowd of wild Bitties. "Pardon us, shadowy friends," he said, voice faltering only slightly. "Do any of you happened to know of a Bitty named Teddy?" 

The gibbering, laughing, whispering, and growling came to a sudden halt. The alley was once again completely silent. It was broken when thundering footsteps started toward them. All the glowing eyes turned to look at a hulking figure, lumbering ever closer to the trio. Hermano's hands clinched and he had to fight to keep his magic from activating. 

What do you call three stupid Bitties that wander into Feral territory in the middle of the night? BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER...

"Junior?" 

Blue recognized the low, growling voice right away. 

"Friend T-Teddy!" He stammered nervously, forcing a friendly smile on his face. "I'm so happy to see you again."

When Teddy finally lurched out of the shadows, Blue could see that the giant Feral looked very displeased. 

"I'm not." he stated, his tone sincere. 

Blue's smile dropped. 

For the second time that night, Hermano's Big Brother Mode engaged, only this time it was in full force. He stood stiffly next to Blue and stared unfaltering into the face of frightening Feral. Teddy gave him a glance then turned back to Blue with a look of further disapproval.

"Ya brung yer friends." he noted.

Blue nodded. "I- you see-" He stammered, desperately trying to find the words to explain himself.

"What the hell where you thinking, coming back here!?" Teddy thundered. 

Hermano was surprised. Teddy, as evil looking as he was, didn't sound threatening as he talked to Blue. Sure, there was the element of danger in his tone, but to Hermano it sounded as if he were scolding Blue instead of menacing him. 

"You don't understand!" Blue shouted at the much larger Bitty. "I'm bringing you and your fellow Ferals Christmas gifts! " He then added in a much softer voice, "I wanted to thank you for helping me that day. I was afraid I'd never get the chance!" 

Teddy stepped back from Blue in utter shock. In all his miserable life, no one outside of his own group had ever thanked him for anything. And Christmas gifts? Forget it. He hadn't even realized that it was the Christmas season. As a Feral, holidays are pretty pointless. The only thing worth celebrating was surviving another day. He stood staring at Blue with a wide eyed, confused expression before suddenly turning his red gaze towards Hermano. Or at least it seemed that way. 

Hermano was confused at the Feral's sudden glare in his direction when he quickly realized that Teddy was actually looking at something behind him. 

"Ah shit..." Teddy muttered. 

Hermano whirled around to see what he was referring to and immediately noticed two things: One, Softy was no longer clinging to his back and Two, some of the Ferals had managed to sneak up behind him. At first glance, Hermano could tell that two of them had most certainly once been normal Sansy and Papy Bitties. Someone had abandoned them, most likely. The Papy only vaguely looked like the typical loud, jovial Undertale type Bitty. He didn't have the usual proud stance and instead stood slightly bent in a hunched over way. He was also much taller than he should have been. He moved in a twitchy, nervous way as if he expected someone to hit him at any moment. His eye sockets seemed both too small and too empty. While he still had the normal smile of a Papy Bitty, the effect was ruined by the terrible shape of his teeth. They were sharp and crooked, giving his mouth the look of a dementedly happy broken window. The ominous red stains on them weren't exactly comforting either. Even less comforting was the fact that he was holding Softy. Hermano nearly flipped his shit.

"Look, Creepy! I found a marshmallow with a face!" the Papy Feral announced in a shaking, nervous sounding voice. He held Softy out towards the Sansy Feral, who just grinned at Softy menacingly.   
The Sansy had one glowing red eye that kept darting around from Hermano to Softy to Blue and back again. His other socket was empty and he kept clutching at and digging his fingerbones into it, almost as if he were searching for the missing eye. The entire time he was just smiling. No matter what, the smile never left his face. Hermano noted the huge hole in the side of his skull. What could have happened to him to cause that? How on earth had he survived it?

"Tibia honest, I'm really more of a pillow than a marshmallow." Softy stated with a proud grin, clearly oblivious to the danger he was in. The Sansy Feral chuckled crazily. 

"I like this one, Freaky. He's a keeper." he said, grabbing his eye socket again.

"Oh of course you do! He's just as punny as you, brother!" the Feral Pap shouted furiously, then suddenly his anger returned back to quivering happiness. "But we'll keep him anyway! I'm sure I could train him not to have such a lowly sense of humor!" 

"Maybe," said the one named Creepy. "What do we do with this one, though?" he grinned over at Hermano. Hermano stood in blank-faced horror as the one name Freaky towered over him and looked him over as if apprasing a new car. He looked thoughtful for a moment then laughed in a nightmarish parody of a normal Papy's laugh. 

"WE'LL KEEP HIM, TOO!!!" he shouted in hideous glee. Hermano had no time to cry out as Freaky hooked one long, bony arm around him and pulled him into a manic hug. Hermano's sockets went wide and he tried to pull out of the Feral's grip but it was no use. His grip was like steel and each attempt to free himself only caused Freaky to squeeze him tighter. No Bitty should be this strong!

"The more the merrier as they say!" Freaky quipped happily. "Though this one could use a few lessons on the proper way to hug new friends..." Hermano cringed when Freaky leaned towards him with an expression of warning. To make matters worse, Hermano noticed that Softy was nuzzled into Freaky's massive chest and sound asleep. If not for his own dire situation, Hermano would've rolled his eyes in annoyance. 

A wall of gray appeared in in the corner of his vision. Hermano stopped struggling long enough to look up to see that the third Feral had approached them. This one was the most horrifying of them all. He was almost as tall as Hermano himself. He had the most intense, pained stare Hermano had ever seen. His blue eyes glowed brightly as they darted from Hermano, to Softy, to Freaky and finally back to Hermano. One of his eyes was ringed with red giving it a slightly purple glow. His smile seemed completely fake and strained, almost as if he were in pain and trying to hide it. The hood of his gray jacket was pulled up over his head and cast a shadow over his face. The shadowed effect only added to his creepiness. 

Suddenly Hermano felt it. It was powerful, overwhelming, and horrifying. The gray Feral's XP. It was.... it couldn't possibly be that high! Hermano was stunned. How many lives.... NO! This could not be happening! A quick glance down at the feral's clothes and Hermano knew that the color was not the natural color of the fabric. This feral was completely covered in monster dust! Hermano wanted to cry out but all sounds died before they left his mouth. They were going to die. All of them. He, Blue, and Softy were all going to be killed and possibly eaten by these maniacs! It was all his fault, too! He should have never agreed to Blue's stupid idea of taking Christmas gifts to the Ferals! What had he been thinking!? That he could stand up to these sick freaks!? How stupid... how stupid and disgustingly arrogant could he really be to think that? Now because of his pride and stupidity he and his friends were going to die and die horribly. Of course, the way things seemed right now, this Freaky guy wanted to "keep" them. That probably meant that he wouldn't kill them, but what it hinted at was even worse. Ferals were sometimes known for taking lost or abandoned normal Bitties into their fold rather than killing them on the spot. This would make sense seeing as how Freaky and Creepy themselves seemed to have been normal Sansy and Papy Bitties at one time. Is that how they got how they are? Did Teddy and is group take them in and over time they ended up like... how they are now? Is that what would happen to Hermano and his friends. Could he actually picture Blue or Softy ending up like those two? NO! NO! NO! Hermano could not let his friends end up like that!!! Just as he was about to activate his magic and attack Freaky, the gray Feral placed a hand on Freaky's arm. 

"Let 'em go, Freaky." he said in a quiet, shy voice that sounded nothing like Hermano expected. "Bro says you're hurting the tall one." 

Freaky gave the gray Feral a confused glare before his eye sockets widened. 

"Oh NO!" he shouted and released Hermano. He let Softy go, too, but the sleepy Bitty remained clinging to his neck... still sound asleep and snoring away without a care in the world. The tall Feral clasped his hands together in a pleading pose and knelt down before Hermano.

"Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't hate me!!! I'm sorry!!!" Freaky pleaded. His cries for forgiveness began to get more and more desperate. 

"You better forgive him." 

Hermano yelped as Creepy suddenly appeared next to him. The Feral leaned next to where his ear would be if he had any. 

"Just tell him it's okay or he'll keep that up all night. You don't want to really upset him... or me for that matter." Creepy warned; his smile never faltering. 

With that friendly warning in mind, Hermano tried to put on a brave face and cautiously patted the panicky Feral on the arm. 

"It... It's okay, b-buddy...." he stammered. 

Freaky instantly perked up. 

"Am I... really your...buddy!?" he asked with a hopeful expression. 

Creepy's grin tightened slightly as he gave Hermano a hard stare. Hermano nodded quickly. 

"Yup. Sure. Absolutely." He answered awkwardly. 

Once again, Hermano found himself swooped up into an uncomfortable hug. 

"Yay! I'm so glad! I always like making new friends! Most of them run away or..." Freaky went into a jibbering ramble and somehow Softy ended up clinging to Hermano again. 

"Oh! I'm so glad to see you making new friends, Hermano!" came Blue's cheerful voice. If it weren't for the fact that Freaky had him smooshed into his ribcage, Hermano would have given Blue a nasty glare. Was there ever going to be and end to this madness? 

Salvation came from an unlikely place. 

"Okay, Freaky," Teddys growling voice drowned out Freaky's rambling. "You, Creepy, and Grey need to help give out the stuff. 

"Stuff?" Creepy questioned while Freaky finally let go of Hermano and Softy. Teddy motioned to the wagon full of goodies. The other Ferals balked as they apparently been so occupied with the non-Feral Bitties that they hadn't noticed the wagon at all. 

"What is all that stuff, Ted?" the gray Feral asked. 

"Christmas gifts!" Blue annouced excitedly.

The three Ferals looked at Blue with utter confusion.

"Gifts?" the Gray Feral asked. His dropped completely. "Why? Why would you give us anything? What do you get out of it?" 

Blue laughed. "Why, the joy of giving, of course!" he said, posing with his hands on his hips and chest puffed out. The Ferals glanced at each other, not sure of what to do or say about this. What kind of weirdo gives stuff to people just because they want to?  
Teddy huffed in annoyance and stomped up to Creepy. "Get some of the others to help unpack this stuff. I want it divvied out equally and I want it done before Scissors gets back! I don't feel like explaining this shit to him right now!" 

"On it." Creepy said with a lazy salute. He grabbed Freaky who waved a somewhat frantic goodbye to Hermano and Softy. Hermano did not wave back. 

Teddy turned to a still grinning Blue. "As for you, get your friends and go home." 

Blue looked hurt for a moment but perked up when he remembered something. He pulled a gift box out of his chest armor and pushed it into Teddy's hands. 

"That one's yours and yours only. I wanted to make sure you got it so I needed to give it to you personally..." Blue started. Teddy snatched up the gift with a slight growl. 

"Yeah okay. Merry Christmas and all that. Just get out of here kid! Right now!" He started pushing Blue towards the enterance of the alley. Along the way he grabbed a hold of Softy and Hermano, who yelped at being grabbed for a third time that night. Teddy set the three of them outside the alley and pointed in the direction of the better side of town. 

"Now go home, kid." he grouched but then his voice dropped to a quieter tone. "And please, don't come back. I'll get the wagon back to you somehow. Just buzz off!" 

Blue gave him a blank look for a moment before grinning brightly and launching himself at the huge Feral. He latched onto Teddy's middle in a tight embrace and whispered, "Merry Christmas to you too, Friend Teddy!" 

It happened so fast Teddy didn't have time to react before Blue had already let go of him and was running off with his friends. Teddy watched them go, making sure they at least got out of the park area before ducking back into the darkness. He would have liked to follow them to make sure they actually made it home okay. He ground his teeth in frusteration. Stupid kid! What the hell was he thinking? Though, when he saw exactly what was in the wagon, his gratitude towards the little Baby Blue Bitty grew more and more: food, new clothing, blankets, pillows, and other things that the Ferals were used to going without. The other Ferals were overjoyed but all of them were more than a little skeptical about the normal Bitties and their motives. 

Eventually Teddy and the other Ferals managed to empty the wagon. Teddy made sure to hide the wagon somewhere that Scissors wouldn't find it and start asking questions. He made sure to tell the Ferals to keep the events of that night secret. His brother would not be allowed to know about Blue and his friend's visiting. He wouldn't understand and would no doubt throw a fit. If Scissors asked about all the new items he would be told that they'd been stolen. 

Later, after his brother had gone to sleep, Teddy took the time to open his gift. In it was a ridiculously cute sweater covered in bright blue stars. It was tacky, yeah, but Teddy had needed some new clothes. He'd feel pretty dumb wearing something so... flashy, but he could always cover it up with his jacket. Less questions for his brother to have that way. Mostly, Teddy was just surprised Blue managed to find a sweater big enough to fit him. At the bottom of the gift box was a Christmas card. Teddy opened it and saw where Blue had written him a message scrawled in Blue crayon: 

Greetings, Friend Teddy!

I'm so happy that I got to give this to you! I hope you like it. I had to learn to knit in order to make it. (Please don't tell Hermano! He'll never stop making fun of me!) Anyway, I hope that you and your friends will benefit from the gifts! Mostly, I just wanted to thank you for helping me fight off that vicious mongrel in the park that day! I assure you that I would have beaten the beast myself eventually, I am the Magnificent Blue after all, but I appreciate your help none-the-less. I also thank you for helping me get back to my parents. Though I was not frightened in the least, but my poor parents were very worried about me! Thank you again. 

Merry Christmas from your friend,  
The Magnificent Blue

Teddy couldn't hold back a chuckle as he read Blue's card. He kind of admired the small Bitty's bravado. He re-read the card several more times. It felt kinda nice to be thanked once in a while. Teddy placed the sweater and the card in a secret place behind a loose brick in one of the buildings. He hoped his brother never found that stuff. Just before he wandered off to his bed he cast a glance up at the starry sky and smiled faintly.

"Thanks, kid."


	18. Boss and Edgy: Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Long awaited chapter! Jessica, Boss, and Edgy have finally come together to have an all-important conversation. Buckle up, kids! This one gets deep.

(Note: I think this chapter is the one that I'm most proud of. Hope you guys like it!)

I finally finished up my report and closed my laptop. I stood up and stretched, feeling slightly dizzy from sitting for so long. Then I let loose a very tired sigh. There was no point in putting it off. I needed to settle this. I had no idea where Edgy poofed off to so I planned to just wait until he showed up again and was ready to talk. In the meantime, Boss and I needed to have a heart to heart. There were many issues that needed to be sorted out and as much as I dreaded it, I had to confront him. With a solemn expression I headed to my room. 

When I opened the door I saw Boss sitting at the edge of the bed facing the door as if he'd been waiting for me the entire time. 

"It's about time!" he grumped and crossed his bony arms across his chest. "We need to discuss some things!" he said.

I was a little taken aback. There was a weird vibe not just in his tone but in his overall demenor. I quietly closed the door behind me. I had expected Boss to be moping in his coffin like he normally did when things upset him but he seemed more outraged than anything else. It was clear that he and Edgy knew each other. Not surprising considering that they were from the same Adoption Center. Though there seemed to be bad blood between them. I wanted to know why. 

I plopped down on the floor in front of him and looked up at where he sat on my bed.   
"Let's get the the brass tacks, Boss." I said. "I know that this Edgy guy is... annoying... to say the least, but that can't be the only reason you hate him so much. What's with all the hate between you guys?" 

Boss didn't answer right away. Instead he just looked at me like I was the biggest idiot on the planet. Don't get me wrong, he gave me that look quite a bit, but this look seemed spawned of genuine confusion rather than annoyance. 

"This has nothing to do with the Edgy, you guileless lummox!" he derided. "This is far more serious than that! This is about all those vacant-skulled twits who can't follow simple directions!" 

Here I just stared at him. Oh! He must mean the people at the Center. He's blaming them for Edgy's escape. Not only that but he was avoiding the issue. I took a deep breath. I didn't know what he was trying to do but I wasn't going to let him overlook the matter at hand. 

"Boss," I said calmly, "I want to discuss this. I get that you don't want Edgy here but throwing blame on other people isn't going to solve anything. The sooner you tell me what's going on, the sooner we can deal with it. Really it's not like you to avoid the issue like this." 

Again, I got that "You're a moron" look from him. He groaned in exasperation and shook his skull. 

"Nitwit, it is you who are avoiding the issue." he said as if he were explaining things to someone who was playing dumb. He shook his skull again and then said something that made me feel like my brain squeezed out of my ear, sprouted wings, and flew out of the nearest window screeching "Free at last!" in a really high pitched voice. 

"You know perfectly well that I am referring to the readers." he said flatly.

You know that moment in nearly every old western movie where there's the high noon showdown and the streets are completely empty save for the two gun fighters? There's always that moment before the guns start blazing where everything is deathly still and quiet and the only sound is the wind blowing against the sand in the road. That's exactly how the room felt at that moment. So much so that I was sure a tumbleweed was rolling across the room behind me. 

"The... readers....what....?" Was all I could say. 

Boss just groaned and ignored me. 

"That's right you, simpletons! I'm talking about you. Well, perhaps not all of you as if you are reading a story about me you can't all be completely hopeless." he said preening and flexing his arms as if he actually had muscles. 

I just stared at him. 

"What are you... who... who are you talking...." I couldn't form a sentence to save my life at that moment. What was happening right now!!!???

"As I said," Boss continued. "Not all of you are to blame. Our author, GiggleGoon, works hard to give you unworthy worms a moment of literary entertainment, and fill your need for more of me, of course. The very least you could do is follow the rules she has put in place!"

GiggleGoon? Who in the world...? Was he talking about another Bitty? Possibly. I still had no idea what the hell was happening, but I was certain that whatever asshole that gave a Bitty a name that fucking stupid deserved the death penalty! I was losing my mind. I had to be. Maybe all the stress had finally caught up to me. Maybe I was actually have a seziure on the couch and I was hallucinating all of this. Yeah. That had to be what was happening. 

Suddenly, Boss pulled a scroll seemingly out of the air. He unfolded it and began talking to seemingly no one again. 

"I, the great and terrifying Boss, will read a note the author has left for you. She felt that perhaps if my incredible self read the note to you, then maybe you dolts would actually listen for once!" 

He proceeded to clear his non-existant throat rather dramatically before reading off the scroll. 

"To all of my readers who still don't get it yet: DO NOT SEND REQUESTS! That means, DO NOT ask me to write about a character or AU. I will not be adding any characters to the story except for the characters and AUs that I want to add. I don't care how much you like Dancetale or Flowerfell, I won't be adding them. I'm tired of continuously denying people their requests because they keep ignoring the fact that I have repeatedly asked that people NOT send requests. Also, just because you disguise your request as a suggestion does not exempt you. For example just because you say "I think you should add Gaster Sans" instead of "Would you please add Gaster Sans" will not change my mind. The answer is still, and will always be "NO!" 

He stopped reading aloud and seemed to read ahead a bit before scowling and looking away from the scroll. 

"She can't be serious!" he growled. "I will not lower myself to using such base and uncivilized language! Not even for our author!" 

There was a flash of red and Edgy suddenly appeared next to Boss with an outstretched hand. 

"I got it, Boss." he said, grinning at the taller Bitty who pulled away from him in disgust. Boss glared at him a moment before shoving the scroll into his hand. 

"Fine! But that scroll better not be soiled with grease and mustard stains when I get it back!" Boss warned. 

"Yeah, yeah." Edgy muttered. He skimmed over the scroll a moment before handing it back to Boss, who held it from a corner between two finger bones as if it were the most disgusting thing in the world. He gave Edgy a slightly confused look. I just watched the exchange numbly while the song "I Am Retarded" played on loop in my slowly melting brain.

"Don't need the note, Boss. I know exactly what Giggles wants to say. Alright! Listen up, chumps! This shit 'bout tha updates? Knock it off! How many times she gotta say it before it filters inta yer thick skulls? Stop askin' 'bout it! An' just 'cause you don't use the word 'update' in yer comment don't mean it's okay! When you keep askin' 'bout when the next chapter's comin' it's the same damn thing! Ya know what? I can answer that question for yas! The answer for when the next chapter's comin' is always gonna be: whenever she fuckin' feels like it! Ya got that!?" 

Boss scoffed at Edgy's rant to no one and took on an arrogant tone. "I'm sure I could have conveyed the author's feelings in a much more eloquent manner, without the un-needed profanity, and I'm almost positive that she would not have used such deplorable grammer." 

Edgy grinned at Boss in an equally haughty manner. "She's the one writin' my dialogue, remember?" He did a really obnoxious finger guns motion at Boss who only grumbled, apparently unable to argue. 

I stood up. I'd had enough.

"Okay guys, it's pretty clear you don't want to settle your issues right now." I stated in a voice that said that I was on the verge of some kind of breakdown. 

"I'm gonna leave you two to continue... whatever it is that you're doing. As for me, I'm gonna grab that bottle of Tequila in the back of the fridge. Maybe if I'm smashed all to Hell things'll start making sense again." 

I got up to do just that when Edgy turned to Boss wtih a knowing look. 

"She don't know does she?" he asked. 

"If you're talking about the continued referrels to this story as being a reader insert no matter how many times the author has stated that the story is not, in fact, about the reader but is about this simpleton that I've allowed to adopt me, then no. I don't believe she is aware." Boss said. 

I halted. 

Wait.

What?

I turned to face the Bitties, now very, VERY invested in the conversation. Edgy seemed to notice my sudden interest and grinned in a manner that said he was egarly awaiting my reaction to something. 

"Yeah, that's right! Seem's a lot of the readers got inta their heads that this story is about them and they try to act like you don't exist." he said, grinning even wider.

I turned completely away from the door. I could feel the rage entering my veins, but instead of a burning fire it felt cold. Icy cold like the Grim Reaper's embrace. This was a level of anger I've never experienced before. 

"Is that so?" I said in an monotone voice; my lips tightening into a thin line of pure hate. "Well pardon me for existing, oh wonderous readers!" My voice was dripping with sarcastic contempt. 

"Far be it from me to intrude upon your self-indulgent little fantasies. Forgive me for forgetting my place!" I bowed at the readers in the most ridicously dramatic way i could manage. 

Edgy pointed a thumb bone in my direction. "Oh NOW she wants ta break the forth wall!" he chuckled.

"Forth wall?" I question through gritted teeth. "Forget the damn forth wall! I'm gonna break somebody's damn neck! Just where do you people get the idea that I am here to represent YOU!? Of all the egocentric, narcisstic, conceited bullshit! I was created by the author for the purpose of telling this story for the YOUR entertainment! But NO! YOU didn't want that. YOU wanted the story to be all about YOU. MY name is Jessica. I am an Original Character, Bitches! You don't like that? Get your Undertale fix somewhere else! Hell I even got my name from the author asking the readers to help name me! But you little shits don't care. Nope it's gotta be all about YOU! Well you can take your self-indulgence and shove it right up your..." 

Aaaaaaaand I'm gonna stop Jess right there. Okay, if you've read this far I think it should be pretty obvious to you that this chapter was just a troll. Why did I do this? I think the reason is clear. Some of my readers just can't seem to get the point across. They keep making the same comments that I have asked over and over and over again not to make. I was going to post yet another author's note but it's painfully clear that people aren't reading them. So I did this. Yes, this is an author's note disguised as a chapter. I did it like this because I was certain that this was the only way people would actually read it. 

I also would like to point out that I actually stopped working on the new chapters just to write this. You know what that means? It means that the idiots who can't follow simple directions are the reason that there is no new chapter right now. Is it fair to punish the good readers for the wrong doings of the readers who ignore the rules? Probably not. But you know what? It's not my fault. Get mad at the morons, because they are the ones that caused this.

Some of you may be looking at this and thinking, 

"Gee, aren't you being a little harsh? There's no need to call people names and swear at them. Being ignorant to the rules isn't a crime." 

There is a big difference between ignorance and stupidity. Ignorant people just don't know any better. Ignorant people can be taught. They learn from their mistakes. Once an ignorant person knows the rules they tend to follow them. Stupid people are different. Stupid people tend to be entitled pricks who think that the rules don't apply to them. For example the people who keep making requests disguised as suggestions. I'm referring to comments that read like this: "You know what would be cool? If you added Brassberry!" To me, this is the same as just flat out asking to add Brassberry. I got nothing against our Beautiful Brass Boi, but I have my reasons for not adding him. I will only add characters and AUs that I want to add. 

That being said, I don't believe for a second that the people that keep breaking the rules because they don't know any better. As many times as I have asked people to stop doing these things there is NO EXCUSE for them to keep doing them. 

From now on, when I post an author's note, you READ THAT SHIT! I don't do like other people and just fill my notes up with pointless personal shit that hasn't got anything to do with anything. My author's notes are ALWAYS important and relevent to the story. If you're worried about spoilers don't worry, I'll keep my furture plan notes vague from now on. 

Now for the final time: 

1\. DO NOT ask about updates or when the next chapter will be out. Just like Edgy said, the answer to this question will always be "Whenever I fucking feel like it!"

2\. DO NOT make request or even suggest to add a character or AU. This is my story I'll write about only what I want to. 

3\. DO NOT refer to Jessica as "the reader". I will not say this anymore. THIS IS NOT A GOD DAMNED, MOTHER FUCKING, SHIT EATING, CAKE RAPING READER INSERT!!!!! Why is this such a difficult concept for people to understand? Are people really so invested in themselves that they can't even read a regular fan fiction story without immediantly putting themselves in the place of the main character? Don't misunderstand. I kinda like reader insert stories. They have there place and they can be very well written. There's nothing wrong with a little self indulgence now and again but seriously people. You can't expect every single fan fiction to be about YOU! 

That's it. I've wasted enough time on this bullshit. It is now well into the early morning now. Which means I will going to sleep soon. Any work that I was going to put into the new chapter today will be put off until the next time I feel like bothering with it. Who knows when that will be. This giant sack of shit chapter is dedicated to all the readers who think they're too good to follow the rules. Good night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even sorry that I'm not sorry.

**Author's Note:**

> Many writers like to depict Underfell Papyrus as a bumbling villain who is a giant softy on the inside. This often carries over into the Bitty Bones version of him. I'm not going to do that here. I imagine Underfell Papyrus as being what he was intended to be: intelligent, mean-spirited, rude, self-centered, cunning, hating weakness, impatient, and bossy. That's what I imagined for his Bitty Bones version,too. To him friendship, love, loyalty and all the good things in life must be earned


End file.
